1. What can speak in every language but never went to school?
Ans. An Echo.

2. What is more useful after it is broken?
Ans. An egg.

3. What does the invisible man like to drink?
Ans. Evaporated Milk.

4. What did one sheep say to the other when it got hurt?
Ans. Are ewe ok?

5. What would a gorilla use to fix a bike?
Ans. A monkey wrench.

6, What did the tree say when spring came?
Ans. What a re-leaf.

7. What has two knees and lives in the ocean?
Ans. A two-knee fish.

8.. What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
Ans. I find you very attractive.

9.. What do you call a camel with no humps?
Ans. Humphry.

10. How do make a pumpkin into another vegetable?
Ans. Throw it and it will turn into squash.

11. What did the bee say to the flower?
Ans. Hi, Bud.

12. What do clouds wear in their hair?
Ans. Rainbows.

13. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
Ans. A Walkie Talkie.

14. Why didn't the rocket have a job?
Ans. It got fired.

15. What two letters are always jealous?
Ans. NV.

16. What is a tree's favorite drink?
Ans. Root Beer.

17. Why did the girl keep getting strong when she put on her coat?
Ans. She had a yellow jacket.

18. Why didn't the skelton cross the road?
Ans. He didn't have any guts.

19. How does the ocean pay its water bill?
Ans. With Sand Dollars.

20. Why did the boy put oil on his pet monkey?
Ans. So he could see a monkey shine.

21. Why didn't the parrot talk until after he ate his meal?
Ans. He wanted to be an after dinner speaker.

22. Why were the bones chasing the skull?
Ans. They wanted to get ahead.

23. What were the picture's last words?
Ans. First they frame and then they hang me.

24. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
Ans. A receding hair line.

25. What is slithery and good at counting?
Ans. An Adder.

26. Why are kindergarten teachers so good?
Ans. They know how to make little things count.

27. Why are frogs always happy?
Ans. They eat what bugs them.

28. Why did Jennifer go outside with her purse open?
Ans. She was expecting some change in the weather.

29. What is the difference between a flea and a dog?
Ans. A dog can have fleas but a flea cannot have dogs.

30. Which insturment never tells the truth?
Ans. A lyre.

31. Why did the ocean roar?
Ans. You would too if you had lobsters in your bed.

32. Why do people like bananas?
Ans. They are so a-peeling.

33. Why did the chimney call the doctor?
Ans. Because the fireplace had the flue.

34. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Ans. It felt crumby.

35. Why do you forget a tooth once it is pulled?
Ans. Because it goes right out of your head.

36. Why did the lady put lipstick on her head?
Ans. She wanted to make up her mind.

37. Why was the gopher in his hole?
Ans, He was grounded.

38. In what country are the baseball scores always even?
Ans. Thailand.

39. Where is the best place to find books about trees?
Ans, In a branch library.

40. What's the world's greatest sandwhich?
Ans. A hero.

41. Why didn't the man buy the bakery?
Ans. He couldn't raise the dough.

42. What does a robot take for a bad cough?
Ans. Robot-tussin.

43. What did the violin make say when he made a mistake?
Ans. Oh Fiddlesticks.

44. Whom do birds marry?
Ans. Their tweethearts.

45. What do you call a police officer's uniform?
Ans, A lawsuit.

46. What tree can you carry in your hand?
Ans. A palm tree.

47. What ten letter word starts with gas?
Ans. Automobile.

48. What is the difference between a pill and a hill?
Ans. One is hard to get down and the other is hard to get up.

49. What stays in the corner but travels around the world?
Ans. A stamp.

50. What do you call a cow that just had a baby?
Ans. De-calf-inated.

51. What makes a goose different than all the other animals?
Ans. The other animals all grow up and the goose grows down.

52. Why was Cinderella thrown off the baseball team?
Ans. Because she ran away from the ball.

53. Where's the best place to find bubble gum?
Ans. On a Chew Chew Train.

54. What did one candle say to the other candle?
Ans. Are you going out tonight?

55. Why did the little boy lock his father in the refrigerator?
Ans. He wanted a cool pop.

56. Why did the boy put sun tan lotion on his chicken?
Ans. He only liked dark meat.

57. What has a thousand needles bonded evenly together but cannot sew?
Ans. A porcupine.

59. What did the robot say when it ran out of electricity?
Ans. AC come AC go.

60. Why does a turtle live in a shell?
Ans. It can't afford an apartment.

61. Why is a leaking faucet like a race horse?
Ans. It's off and running.

62. How do we know dinosaurs raced competitively?
Ans. Scientists discovered dinosaur tracks.

63. Where do you find a lost elephant?
Ans. Where you left it.

64. How is the letter A like a flower?
Ans. A b is always coming after it.

65. Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Ans. She keeps running away from the ball.

66. If two is a couple and three is a crowd what is four and five?
Ans. Nine.

67. Why would anyone hire an elephant?
Ans. He likes to work for peanuts.

68. Why is the sun able to stay up in the sky?
Ans. Because it has so many beams.

69. What has crossed the ocean?
Ans. Columbus.

70. Why do small children take a lot of trips?
Ans. They can't tie their shoes.

71. What did one knife say to the other knife?
Ans. You're looking sharp today.

72. What did the rug say to the floor?
Ans. I've got you covered.

73. What is always behind the time?
Ans. The back of a clock.

74. What instrument does a skeleton play?
Ans. Trombone.

75. What did the bird say when its cage broke?
Ans. CHeap Cheap.

76. What do you tell someone with ringing ears?
Ans. Answer them.

77. What does one frog tell another frog when he is right?
Ans. I toad you so.

78. If one is love and two is hate what are three and four?
Ans. Seven.

79. When do you use a shovel to eat?
Ans. When you dig in.

80. What person adds best in hot weather?
Ans. Summer.

81. What is the laziest mountain in the world?
Ans. Mr. Ever-rest.

82. How do you call a monster?
Ans. From very far away.

83. How does a ghost celebrate New Year's Eve?
Ans. He paints the town dead.

84. What kind of markets do dogs hate?
Ans. Flea Markets.

85. What kind of bet can never be won?
Ans. Alphabet.

86. What does a banana do when it sees a ghost?
Ans. It splits.

87. Why do watermelons contain so much water?
Ans. They are planted in the spring.

88. What do frogs order at a fast food place?
Ans. French Flies.

89. What did the sidewalk say to the jackhammer?
Ans. You crack me up.

90. Why did the cucumber blush?
Ans. It saw the salad dressing.

91. Why is the calender so sad?
Ans. Its days are numbered.

92. What part of a cowboy't outfit is the saddest?
Ans. Blue jeans.

93. What game do monster children play?
Ans. Hyde and sick.

94. Why did the boy fall asleep on the wood pile?
Ans. He wanted to sleep like a log.

95. Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
Ans. He couldn't find a date.

96. What do you call a frozen policeman?
Ans. A copsickle.

97. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Ans. Boo Boos.

98. Why did the girl eat bullets?
Ans. She wanted to grow bangs.

99. What do you get when you cross an onion and a potato?
Ans. A potato with watery eyes.

100. What do ships eat for breakfast?
Ans. Boatmeal.