1. What keeps the moon from falling down?
Ans. Its beams.

2. If the alien breathes oxygen in the daytime what would he breathe at night?
Ans. Nightrogen.

3. What is everyone in the whole world doing at the same time?
Ans. Growing Older.

4. What do you get if you cross a foot and a rocket?
Ans. Missile toe.

5. What happens when a flock of geese land in a volcano?
Ans. They cook their own goose.

6. What flower grows between your nose and your chin?
Ans. Tulips.

7. What is a good example of wasted energy?
Ans. Telling hair raising stories to a bald man.

8. If you put three ducks in a crate what would you have?
Ans. A box of quackers.

9. When is a dog mostlkely to enter a house?
Ans. When the door is open.

10. Why is the sea restless?
Ans. It has rocks in its bed.

11. What did Adam do when he wanted sugar?
Ans. He raised cain.

12. What is hardest about learning to ride a bike?
Ans. The pavement.

13. What runs in and out of town all day and all night?
Ans. The road.

14. What do you call a crying contest?
Ans. A bawl game.

15. Why did the conrnstalk hear so much?
Ans. He was all ears.

16. What did the teacher say when she heard she had six girls named Mary in her class?
Ans. The more the Maryer.

17. What do you have when a school boy in Russia gets up in the morning?
Ans. Russian dressing.

18. What asks no questions but demands answers?
Ans. A doorbell.

19. When is an artist dangerous?
Ans. When his designs are bad.

20. What is plowed but not planted?
Ans. Snow.

21. Why is air fresher in winter than in summer?
Ans. It's kept on ice.

22. On which side does a robin have the most feathers?
Ans. The outside.

23. What did one lily say to the other lily?
Ans. Take me to your weeder.

24. What appears in summer and winter but not in spring?
Ans. The letter e.

25. What is in the very center of America?
Ans. The letter a.

26. What is the greatest feat of strength ever performed in the US?
Ans. Wheeling West Virginia.

27. What kind of coat is put on wet?
Ans. A coat of paint.

28. Why is a bowling alley so quiet?
Ans. You can always hear a pin drop.

29. What do you have that is most useful if used up?
Ans. An umbrella.

30. Why did the mouse go on a diet?
Ans. She wanted to be a mim-mouse.

31. Why did the monkey cut his banana in half?
Ans. He wanted a banana split.

32. Why did the bald man buy a rabbit?
Ans. He wanted a head of hair.

33. Why didn't the three girls walking to school under one umbrella get wet?
Ans. It wasn't raining.

34. What's the difference between an old dime and a new penny?
Ans. Nine cents.

35. When do we have four hands?
Ans. When we double our fists.

36. Why did the lady stand next to the vault at the bank?
Ans. She wanted to be on the safe side.

37. How could your mother pull the wool over your eyes?
Ans. Knit a cap too big.

38. Why did the cow look for a telephone?
Ans. She knew she could then make a long distance caw.

39. Why did the man look for words that meant angry?
Ans. So he could make a crossword puzzle.

40. What did a mother bear from France give her cub?
Ans. A french cuff.

41. Why did the Eskimo boy put on ten pairs of mittens to wave good-bye?
Ans. He wanted to make a heat wave.

42. Why did the raindrop fall into a pail?
Ans. He wanted to be a drop in the bucket.

43. Why did the gangster put a penny into the bubble gum machine?
Ans. He wanted machine gum.

44. What happened when the Indian rain dancers formed a chorus?
Ans. They sang up a storm.

45. Why is a goose like an icicle?
Ans. They both grow down.

46. What bird is low spirited?
Ans. Bluebird.

47. Which sellfish are emblems of silence?
Ans. Clams.

48. Why did the singer buy a large stove?
Ans. She wanted a wide range.

49. What do you call someone who tends sheep in Germany?
Ans. A German Shepherd.

50. What never runs but can be caught?
Ans. A cold.

51. Why didn't the ghost want to go fishing?
Ans. He liked to go haunting instead.

52. Why did the grandfather clock want to be in a parade?
Ans. H heard that time marches on.

53. Why did the boy put oil on his monkey?
Ans. He wanted to see monkey shine.

54. What was Billy The Kid's favorite subject in school?
Ans. Triggernometry.

55. If a chicken crossed the road, rolls in the dust, and crosses back what is she?
Ans. A dirty double crosser.

56. Who robbed stagecoaches wearing dirty clothes?
Ans. Messy James.

57. What did the ocean say to the shore?
Ans. Nothing it just waved.

58. What is a duck's favorite food?
Ans. Quackers.

59. Why do spiders make good baseball players?
Ans. They can catch flies.

60. What kind of witch live in the desert?
Ans. A sandwich.

61. What does a train do when an outlaw chases it?
Ans. Makes tracks.

62. What animal do you look like when you take a bath?
Ans. A little bear.

63. When are your eyes no eyes?
Ans. When the wind makes them water.

64. What kind of apple gets angry?
Ans. A crab apple.

65. Why is the letter b like fire?
Ans. It makes oil boil.

66. Why are bird poor?
Ans. They all have bills.

67. What kind of bird is a gulp?
Ans. A swallow.

68. Why is everything a chicken says nasty?
Ans. It's fowl language.

69. What bird is a thief?
Ans. A robin.

70. What did the potato say to the farmer?
Ans. I've got an eye on you.

71. How do cowboys watch tv when they are out on the range?
Ans. By saddle-light.

72. What is black and yellow and goes zub?
Ans. A bee flying backwards.

73. Why are dentists so sad?
Ans. They are always looking down the mouth.

74. Why don't ghost like to go out in the rain?
Ans. It dampens their spirits.

75. What did the dog say when he sat on sand?
Ans. Ruff (rough).

76. Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
Ans. The captain was standing on the deck.

77. Why does the army like popcorn so much?
Ans. It has kernels in it.

78. What drives baseball batters crazy?
Ans. Pitchers who throw screwballs.

79. Why are scrambled eggs like a losing baseball team?
Ans. They are both beaten.

80. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. He had no guts.

81. What is the best thing to when you are run down?
Ans. The number of the car that hit you.

82. Why is tennis such a noisy game?
Ans. The players all raise a racket.

83. What do they call the fattst female phantom?
Ans. The ghostess with the mostess.

84. Why did the stoplight rutn red?
Ans. So would you if you had to change in the middle of the street.

85. How do you make friends with a computer?
Ans. Bit by bit.

86. How many sides does a house have?
Ans. Two, inside and outside.

87. What do you get when you cross a gangster and a garbage truck?
Ans. Organized grime.

88. Why did the rabbit eat dinner under the sink?
Ans. He found a leak there.

89. Guess who I saw today?
Ans. Everybody I looked at.

90. Wat newspaper do cattle read?
Ans. The Daily Moos.

91. Wha did the victim say when the outlaw stuffed a dirty cloth in his mouth?
Ans. That's an old gag.

92. What happens when potatos get really mad?
Ans. They are steamed.

93. What did the mayonaise say to the refrigerator?
Ans. Close the door I'm dressing.

94. What do you call Jesse James when he has a flu?
Ans. A sick shooter.

95. What has four eyes and cannot see?
Ans. Mississippi.

96. Why is an elephant tough, grey, and big?
Ans. If it were smooth white and small it would be an asprin.

97. If the marines and the navy were playing bsketball and all the marines fowled out what would they put in?
Ans. Sub-marines.

98. What goes 99 hump, 99 thump?
Ans. A centipede with a wooden leg.

99. What is a cat's favorite song?
Ans. Three Blind Mice.

100. How do you get an elephant to follow you?
Ans. Act like a nut.