1. What starts and ends with e and has one letter in it?
Ans. Envelope.

2. Where were the first doughnuts fried?
Ans. In grease.

3. If Ireland would sink what city would float?
Ans. Cork.

4. When does a ship tell a falsehood?
Ans. When it's lying at the wharf.

5. Why did the skeleton flunk out of school?
Ans. His heart wasn't in it.

6. What types of lights did Noah use on the ark?
Ans. Floodlights.

7. Where do monsters study?
Ans. Ghoul School.

8. Who teaches in a ghoul school?
Ans. A creature teacher.

9. Where do you find prehistoric cows?
Ans. In a moo-seum.

10. How does a skeleton study for a test?
Ans. He bones up.

11. How do bees get to school?
Ans. By a school buzz.

12. What would happen if you took a school bus home?
Ans. Police would make you give it back.

13. Why is a king like a hat?
Ans. They both have a crown.

14. What is the cheapest part on the face?
Ans. The nostrils they are two for a cent.

15. What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?
Ans. One steals from the people and the other peels for the people.

16. When is a boat like a pile of snow?
Ans. When it's adrift.

17. Why is a baker like banker?
Ans. He handles dough.

18. Why is the ocean always licking at the shore?
Ans. Because of the sandwiches there.

19. What did the plumber say to the talkative assistant?
Ans. Pipe down.

20. What is so strange about how a horse eats.
Ans. He eats best when there is not a bit in his mouth.

21. Why should a man always wear a watch when he travels to the desert?
Ans. A watch always has a spring.

22. What fish goes with a knife and fork?
Ans. Spoonfish.

23. Why would you have to pay for a cod fish on delivery?
Ans. Cod means cash on delivery.

24. What do you see on the ground when it is raining cats and dogs?
Ans. Poodles.

25. What does a tugboat use to buy things?
Ans. A barge card.

26. Why did the football team go to the telephone booth?
Ans. To get their quarter back.

27. What has six feet and can sing?
Ans. A trio.

28. What never needs a key to get into the house?
Ans. A snail.

29. What smells the most in a flower shop?
Ans. Your nose.

30. What do you say to a burrowing mammal when it's in a race?
Ans. Gopher it.

31. What would ou call a battle between two road paving companies?
Ans. Tar wars.

32. What kind of music do you hear at the Grand Canyon?
Ans. Rock.

33. What did the flower say to the bee?
Ans. Can I be your honey?

34. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Ans. Hi bud.

35. What is a stupid flower called?
Ans. A blooming idiot.

36. What flowers does a monster grow?
Ans. Marri-ghouls and Morning Gorys.

37. What do you call a bee born in May?
Ans. Maybe.

38. What kind of bees buzz quietly?
Ans. Mumble bee.

39. Why did the busy bee call the flowers lazy?
Ans. They were always in beds.

40. Why can't you trust a bee?
Ans. It's a humbug.

41. Why is a wig like a lie?
Ans. It's a false hood.

42. Why are fish well educated?
Ans. They are always in schools.

43. When did the fly fly?
Ans. When the spider spied her.

44. When does a ship tell a falsehood?
Ans. When it it lying at the wharf.

45. What is the hardest thing about ice skating?
Ans. The ice.

46. Why are you tired on April Fools Day?
Ans. You just finished a march of 31 days.

47. What part of a fish weighs the most?
Ans. Its scales.

48. How can you make gold soup?
Ans. Put 14 carrots in it.

49. What can speak in every language but never went to school?
Ans. An echo.

50. What is in a bed but never sleeps and can drink but never eats?
Ans. A flower.

51. What is it that no one wants to have yet when they have it they don't want to lose it?
Ans. A lawsuit.

52. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Ans. Pook-etti.

53. Why did the elephant take a walk?
Ans. To get his extra-size.

54. What do you get when you cross a mink and a kangaroo?
Ans. A mink coat with pockets.

55. What doesn't exist but has a name?
Ans. Nothing.

56. What should you know before you try to teach dogs tricks?
Ans. More than the dogs know.

57. How can you find a lost dog in the woods?
Ans. Listen to the bark.

58. What did the big toe say to the little toe?
Ans. Don't look now there is a heel following us.

59. What stays hot even if you put it in the refriderator?
Ans. Pepper.

60. What's the best way to catch a squirrel?
Ans. Climb a tree and act like a nut.

61. Why did the little boy jump up and down?
Ans. He took some medicine and it said shake well.

62. What happens when we feed lemons to a cat?
Ans. You get a sour puss.

63. What did one math book say to the other math book?
Ans. I've got problems.

64. What exclamation is used mostly by dressmakers?
Ans. Ahem.

65. Why should the East Wind never blow straight?
Ans. It blows oblique.

66. What is the difference between the earth and the sea?
Ans. One is dirty and the other is tide.

67. Why is a gardener better paid than any other tradesman?
Ans. He has the most celery.

68. Why do they use knots instead of miles on the ocean?
Ans. They have to keep the ocean tide.

69. How can you put ourself through a keyhole?
Ans. Write the word yourself on a piece of paper and put it through the keyhole.

70. How can you place a pencil on the floor so no one can jump over it?
Ans. Place it next to the wall.

71. Why is a trap like the measles?
Ans. They are both catching.

72. How can you have a set of teeth inserted for free?
Ans. Tease a watchdog.

73. Why didn't the animals play cards on the ark?
Ans. Noah was standing on the deck.

74. Why was the bride crying at her wedding?
Ans. She didn't marry the best man.

75. Does it take longer to run from first base to second base or from second base to third base?
Ans. From second to third because there is a short stop in the middle.

76. What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
Ans. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

77. What is the quietest sport?
Ans. Bowling you can hear a pin drop.

78. What did the leopard say when it started to rain?
Ans. That hits the spots.

79. Why does Dracula help the younger vmpires?
Ans. He like to see new blook in the business.

80. What do you call an aliigator's hepler?
Ans. Gatorade.

81. What is a sick crocodile called?
Ans. An illigator.

82. What does a duck wear to a fancy party?
Ans. Duxedo.

83. What can a stingy man part with most easily?
Ans. A comb.

84. Why is a weather forecast like a baby?
Ans. They are always being changed.

85. What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
Ans. One know the stops and the other stops the nose.

86. What do you get if you coss a vampire and a teacher?
Ans. Lots of blood tests.

87. What kind of tests do they give to witches?
Ans. Hex-aminations.

88. How is an English teacher like a judge?
Ans. They both hand out sentences.

' 89. Wha do you get if you cross a bear and a skunk?
Ans. Winnie the Phew.

90. What is an aurobiography?
Ans. The life story of a car.

91. Where is the best place to find books about trees?
Ans. A branch library. 92. What is the difference between jewelers and jailers?
Ans. One sells watches and the other watches cells.

93. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
Ans. One says no chewing and the other says choo choo.

94. What kind of tea can't be taken into outer space?
Ans. Cravity.

95. Why did grandma put roller skates on her rocking chair?
Ans. She wanted to rock and roll.

96. What did the doctor give the duck?
Ans. A clean bill of health.

97. What goes around the world without ever moving?
Ans. The equator.

98. How did the puppet get into show business?
Ans. His friend pulled a few strings for him.

99. What do you have to pay to hear someone famous talk?
Ans. Attention.

100. What do you call a little boy's messy room?
Ans. A toynado.