1. What's a rabbit's favorite song?
Ans. Don't Worry Be Hoppy.

2. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
Ans. A stick.

3. Why do elephants have trunks?
Ans. They don't have glove compartments.

4. What was the greatest invention in the world?
Ans. The wheel it got everything going.

5. What did one ear say to the other ear?
Ans. How come we live on the same block but never meet?

6. What insects do blacksmiths make?
Ans. Fire-fly.

7. After the rain falls when does it rise again?
Ans. In dew time.

8. What must one do to have soft hands?
Ans. Nothing.

9. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
Ans. Nectorine.

10. Why didn't the baseball player get to meet Cinderella?
Ans. He missed the ball.

11. If joy is the opposite of sorrow what is the opposite of woe?
Ans. Giddop.

12. What do the moon and false teeth have in common?
Ans. They both come out at night.

13. What animal grows the fastest?
Ans. A kangaroo by leaps and bounds.

14. How are clergymen and blenders alike?
Ans. They are both mini-stirs.

15. How do you make a witch itch?
Ans. Take away the w.

16. Why was the cat scared of the tree?
Ans. It had a big bark.

17. Why couldn't the shoes go out dancing?
Ans. They were all tied up.

18. What kind of cat can swim underwater?
Ans. A catfish.

19. Why is a colt like an egg?
Ans. They both must be broken before they can be used.

20. When is a horse not a horse?
Ans. When it's turned into a parture.

21. Why are clouds like people on horseback?
Ans. They both hold the reins.

22. Why should a large horse stay in during cold wet weather?
Ans. He might catch cold and become a little hoarse.

23. Which horse stays up the latest?
Ans. Nightmares.

24. Why do cowboys ride their horses to town?
Ans. They are too heavy to carry.

25. How long should your legs be?
Ans. Long enough to reach to the ground.

26. What has fifty heads and fifty tails?
Ans. Fifty pennies.

27. What's the difference between a tennis ball and a prince?
Ans. The ball is thrown into the air and the prince is heir to the throne.

28. What is big and white and found on the equator?
Ans. A lost polar bear.

29. Why do fish like salt water?
Ans. Pepper makes them sneeze.

30. What does it mean when you go home after school and you don't have to do any homework or clean your room?
Ans. You are in the wrong house.

31. What kind of berry does a horse like?
Ans. Strawberry.

32. Where do penquins keep their money?
Ans. In a snowbank.

33. What keys are too big to fit into your pocket?
Ans. Donkey and monkey.

34. Why did the whale cross the ocean?
Ans. To get to the other tide.

35. What can be the same size as an elephant but weigh less than a sheet of paper?
Ans. A shadow.

36. Why did the ballplayer go to the city dump?
Ans. To get a throw away ball.

37. Did you hear about the fight in the candy store?
Ans. Two suckers got licked.

38. How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Ans. Hold his nose.

39. What did the envelop say when it was licked?
Ans. Nothing it shut up.

40. What did the stamp say to the envelop?
Ans. I'm stuck on you.

41. What is so sad about a caledar?
Ans. Its days are numbered.

42. What building has the most stories?
Ans. A library.

43. When is a dog's bark like a body of water?
Ans. When it's a bay.

44. Who is bigger Mr Big or his baby?
Ans. His baby cause it is a little bigger.

45. What does a proud compuer call his son?
Ans. A microchip off the old block.

46. What happened when the mad scientist threw an elastic band into the computer?
Ans. He got snappy answers.

47. What would happen if you crossed a computer and a midget?
Ans. You would get a short curcuit.

48. What has a mouth but desn't speak and a bed that doesn't sleep?
Ans. A river.

49. Which is the left side of a pie?
Ans. The part that hasn't been eaten.

50. Did you hear about the fight on the train?
Ans. The conductor punched a ticket.

51. At what time do you go to the dentist?
Ans. Tooth-hurty.

52. What is everyone in the world doing at the same time?
Ans. Growing older.

53. What is the easiest way to double your money?
Ans. Fold it in half.

54. What do you get when you cross a math teacher and a crab?
Ans. Snappy answers.

55. Where do pencils come from?
Ans. Pennsylvania.

56. Did all the animals on the ark come in pairs?
Ans. No the worms came in apples.

57. Who was the strongest man in the Bible?
Ans. Jonah even the whale couldn't keep him down.

58. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
Ans. No they had an apple.

59.When was medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
Ans. When Moses was given two tablets.

60. Why did the woman put a clock under her desk?
Ans. She wanted to work overtime.

61. When will the letter G surprise a farmer?
Ans. When it turns oats into goats.

62. Why was the mother flea so upset?
Ans. All her children were going to the dogs.

63. Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Ans. There were so many knights.

64. What should you do when you wear your pants out?
Ans. Wear them in again.

65. What four word lesson teaches bokkeeping?
Ans. Never lend your books.

66. Where do blue eggs come from?
Ans. Sad chickens.

67. Why was the chicken thrown out of school?
Ans. He was caught peeping on a test.

68. Where do fish sleep?
Ans. In their water beds.

69. What do you do with crude oi?
Ans. You teach it manners.

70. What animal does best in math?
Ans. Rabbits, they multiply faster.

71. What makes arithmetic hard work
Ans. All the numerals you have to carry.

72. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?
Ans. Geometry.

73. What do you have to know to get top grades?
Ans. All the angles.

74. What do history teachers always talk about?
Ans. The good old days.

75. Who was the biggest thief in history?
Ans. Atlas, he held up the whole world.

76. What was Noah profession?
Ans. Ark-itect.

77. Why was the school clock punished?
Ans. It ticked too much.

78. Why do you move faster when you have a cold?
Ans. Your pulse races and your nose runs

79. How are 2 plus 2 is 5 and your left hand alike?
Ans. Neither of them are right.

80. When do matmeticians die?
Ans. When their number is up.

81. What has 20 heads and can't think?
Ans. A book of matches.

82. Why did Silly Sally wash her rabbit?
Ans. Her mother said her hare was dirty.

83. What's red and carries a bag of toys while falling down a chimnet?
Ans. Santa Klutz.

84. What is one room a zombie doesn't need?
Ans. A living room.

85. What kind of car does dracula drive?
Ans. A bloodmobile.

86. Why is a loaf of bread that is four weeks old like a mouse running into a hole in the wall?
Ans. You can see its tail (its stale).

87. Why should you be careful about telling secrets in the country?
Ans. The corn has ears, the potatos have eyes and the beans talk.

88. Where will we be when the lights go out?
Ans. In the dark.

89. Who was the first skin diver?
Ans. A mosquito.

90. Are peoplein the animal, vegetable, or mineral family?
Ans. Vegetable because they are human beans (beings).

91. Why were the Indians the first people in America?
Ans. They had reservations.

92. What is pigskin used for?
Ans. To hold pigs together.

93. What does a farmer grow when he works very hard
Ans. Tired.

94. A dog was tied to a ten foot rope but can walk thirty feet so how does he do it?
Ans. The rope wasn't tied to anything.

95. What do you do with a green parrot?
Ans. Wait for it to get ripe.

96. Where do you hang a cow's picture?
Ans. A moo-seum.

97. What made the passengers get off of the greyhound?
Ans. A flea collar.

98. What is lng shiny and beats on a drum?
Ans. Yankee Noodle.

99. What did the big monster say to the little monster?
Ans. Father knows beast.

100. Who built the first underground tunnel?
Ans. A worm.