1. What animal has a car?
Ans. A roadhog.

2. Where do witches and goblins pick up their mail?
Ans. At a ghost office.

3. What's another name for a grandfather clock?
Ans. An old timer.

4. How do you send a letter to a fish?
Ans. You drop him a line.

5. What did the ocean say when Superman flew over it?
Ans. Nothing it just waved.

6. Why do people iron four leaf clovers?
Ans. They want to press their luck.

7. Why are neglected teeth like a Polorid camera?
Ans. They both develop their own film.

8. What coat has many sleeves?
Ans. A coat of arms.

9. What was Count Dracula doing at the baseball stadium?
Ans. Bat practice.

10. What was the tow car doing at the auto race?
Ans. Pulling a fast one.

11. What did the beaver say to the tree?
Ans. It's been nice gnawing you.

12. What did the baker do when he was short of strawberries?
Ans. He made strawberry shortcake.

13. Why is a leaky faucet like a race horse?
Ans. Its off and running.

14. Why did the jelly roll?
Ans. It saw the appe turnover.

15. Where do bees go after they get married
Ans. On a honeymon.

16. What do you call a zebra without stripes?
Ans. A horse.

17. What kinds of cups do turkeys drink out of?
Ans. Goblets.

18. When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
Ans. When it is turned into a driveway.

19. What most resembles one halp of an apple?
Ans. The other half of the apple.

20. What starts with t and ends with t and is full of tea?
Ans. A teapot.

21. Why did Humpty Dumpty has a great fall?
Abs, To make up for a miserable summer.

22. What can travel around the world and stay in one corner?
Ans. A stamp.

23. What did one hot dog say to the other hot dog?
Ans. Hi Frank.

24. How can you spell hard word in three letters?
Ans. Ice.

25. What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
Ans. You are attractive.

26. What did the flower want to do?
Ans. Find Its roots.

27. What do you call a red headed lady on a blue jet?
Ans. A passenger.

28. What comes at the end of everything?
Ans. The letter g.

29. What did the mother firefly say to the little firefly?
Ans. Lights out by midnight.

30. What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Ans. Your breath.

31. What kind of dog will you find at the United Nations?
Ans. A diplo-mutt.

32. How long is a pair of shoes?
Ans. Two feet.

33. What can go up the chimney down but can't go down the chimney up?
Ans. An umbrella.

34. Why is it dangerous to do math in a jungle?
Ans. If you add 4 and 4 you get eight.

35. What did the daughter sheep say to the mother sheep when she answered the phone?
Ans. It's for ewe.

36. Why did the snake shed its skin?
Ans. To get to have another hide.

37. Why are different trees like different dogs?
Ans. Each has a different bark.

38. What divides by uniting and unites by dividing?
Ans. Scissors.

39. What kinds of animals can jump high than a house
Ans. They all can cause houses can't jump.

40. What makes everyone sick except those who swallow it?
Ans. Flattery.

41. What goes oom oom?
Ans. A cow walking backwards.

42. Why is a good resolution like a looking glass?
Ans. It is easily broken.

43. What did the baby sardine say when he saw a submarine?
Ans. There goes a can of people.

44. What is a pig doing when he eats?
Ans. Making a hog of himself.

45. What did the happy lamp say to the grumpy lamp?
Ans. Lighten up.

46. What type of vehicle does a pig drive?
Ans. A pig-up truck.

47. What is the coldest place in a theater?
Ans. The Z-row.

48. Why do radio announcers have small hands?
Ans. Wee paws for station identification.

49. What is the last thing you take off before going to bed?
Ans. Your feet from the floor.

50. What did the tired dishcloth say to the counter?
Ans. Boy, I'm all wiped out.

51. How does a ghost eat?
Ans. By goblin.

52. A nickel and a dime sat on a fence but the nickel fell off. Why?
Ans. The dime had more cents.

53. One day a horse, a frog, a skunk and a duck wanted to go the movies. Who didn't get to go?
Ans. The skunk didn't get to go because he only had one scent. The horse had four quarters, the frog a green back, and the duck a bill.

54. Why did the bee go to the doctor?
Ans. He had hives.

55. What did Tennessee?
Ans. The same thing that Arkansas.

56. On what kind of horse would you get wet when riding?
Ans. A sea horse.

57. Why did the giant get lost?
Ans. His head was in the clouds.

58. What do you call a bunch of bees?
Ans. A good report card.

59. What fish has a scotch accent?
Ans. Mac-kerel.

60. Which fish has five good points?
Ans. Starfish.

61. What is the difference between a farmer and a dressmaker?
Ans. One sows what he gathers and the other gathers what he sews.

62. What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
Ans. Yardstick.

63. When is it socially correct to serve milk in a saucer?
Ans. When you are feeding a cat.

64. What does one often hold bu rarely touches?
Ans. Tongue.

65. Which sweet treat can't get anywhere on time?
Ans. Choco-late.

66. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
Ans. With a pumpkin patch.

67. What did the spider do on the computer?
Ans. Made a website.

68. What do you call Santa's helpers?
Ans. Subordinate Clauses.

69. What do you call someone who puts poison in someone's corn flakes?
Ans. Cereal killer.

70. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock?
Ans. A lawn mooer.

71. Why is it dangerous to tell jokes to Humpty Dumpty?
Ans. He might crack up.

72. What is a myth?
Ans. A female moth.

73. Why are spiders good swimmers?
Ans. They have webbed feet.

74. What pillar doesn't need holding up?
Ans. Caterpiller.

75. What did the mouse say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
Ans. This is the end of me.

76. Why did Little Bo Peep lose her sheep?
Ans. She had a crook with her.

77. What can you serve but never eat?
Ans. A volleyball.

78. How does a cat keep his mouth clean?
Ans. He uses mousewash.

79. What subject do cows like best?
Ans. Moosic.

80. How do hens stay fit?
Ans. They always egg-ercise.

81. Why did the frog have to go to the hospital?
Ans. He needed a hop-eration.

82. What do call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Ans. Sir.

83. What do mice do when they are at home?
Ans. Mousework.

84. What has 12 legs, six eyes, and three tails but cannot see?
Ans. Three blind mice.

85. What is small furry and smells like bacon?
Ans. Hamster.

86. When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
Ans. When its raining cats and dogs.

87. What is the meaning of a narrow squeak?
Ans. A thin mouse.

88. What is small has a long tail and works with the police?
Ans. A gerbil shepherd dog.

89. What is gray, hairy and lives on a man's face?
Ans. A mouse-tache.

90. Why did the boy eat a candle?
Ans. To have a light refreshment.

91. What goes dot dot dash squeak?
Ans. Mouse code.

92. What do you get if you cross a mouse with a packet of washing powder?
Ans. Bubble and squeak.

93. What do you get if you cross a bee with a doorbell?
Ans. A humdinger.

94. What happened to the two bedbugs that fell in love?
Ans. They got married in the spring.

95. In which school do you have to drop out in order to graduate?
Ans. Parachute school.

96. Where does a ship go when it is sick?
Ans. To the dock.

97. Where do dogs sleep on camping trips?
Ans. In pup tents.

98. Why couldn't the bike stand by itself?
Ans. It was two tired.

99. How did the eggs cross the road?
Ans. They scrambled.

100. What's white and goes up?
Ans. A confused snowflake. Show your love for God through all your actions and words today and every day. God Bless You. 76. Why did Little Bo Peep lose her sheep?
Ans. She had a crook with her.

77. What can you serve but never eat?
Ans. A volleyball.

78. How does a cat keep his mouth clean?
Ans. He uses mousewash.

79. What subject do cows like best?
Ans. Moosic.

80. How do hens stay fit?
Ans. They always egg-ercise.

81. Why did the frog have to go to the hospital?
Ans. He needed a hop-eration.

82. What do call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Ans. Sir.

83. What do mice do when they are at home?
Ans. Mousework.

84. What has 12 legs, six eyes, and three tails but cannot see?
Ans. Three blind mice.

85. What is small furry and smells like bacon?
Ans. Hamster.

86. When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
Ans. When its raining cats and dogs.

87. What is the meaning of a narrow squeak?
Ans. A thin mouse.

88. What is small has a long tail and works with the police?
Ans. A gerbil shepherd dog.

89. What is gray, hairy and lives on a man's face?
Ans. A mouse-tache.

90. Why did the boy eat a candle?
Ans. To have a light refreshment.

91. What goes dot dot dash squeak?
Ans. Mouse code.

92. What do you get if you cross a mouse with a packet of washing powder?
Ans. Bubble and squeak.

93. What do you get if you cross a bee with a doorbell?
Ans. A humdinger.

94. What happened to the two bedbugs that fell in love?
Ans. They got married in the spring.

95. In which school do you have to drop out in order to graduate?
Ans. Parachute school.

96. Where does a ship go when it is sick?
Ans. To the dock.

97. Where do dogs sleep on camping trips?
Ans. In pup tents.

98. Why couldn't the bike stand by itself?
Ans. It was two tired.

99. How did the eggs cross the road?
Ans. They scrambled.

100. What's white and goes up?
Ans. A confused snowflake.