1. When do you use a bow without an arrow?
Ans. When you play a violin.

2. What school did Sir Lancelot go to?
Ans. Knight School.

3. What do you call a bunch or tires that try to make music?
Ans. A rubber band.

4. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a snake?
Ans. A jump rope.

5. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
Ans. Get dressed the doctor is taking us out tonight.

6. Why do they measure snakes in inches?
Ans. Because they don't have feet.

7. What kind of music do angels listen to?
Ans. Soul Music.

8. Why are fish boots the warmest boots to wear?
Ans. They have electric 'eels.

9. Why are dolphins smarter than humans?
Ans. Within three hours they can train a man to stand by the water and feed them fish.

10. To whom do fish go to borrow money?
Ans. A loan shark.

11. Why are gold fish orange?
Ans. The water makes them rusty.

12. Who held the baby octoopus to ransom?
Ans. Squidnappers.

13. What fish do road menders use?
Ans. Pneumatic krill.

14. What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
Ans. They go sharkers.

15. What game do fish like playing the most?
Ans. Name that tuna.

16. What do naked fish play with?
Ans. Bare-a-cudas.

17. What is a ring leader?
Ans. The first one in the bathtub.

18. Why does an elephant have a trunk?
Ans. So he has somewhere to hide when he sees a mouse.

19. What happens when pigs fly?
Ans. Bacon goes up.

20. Why didn't the clock work?
Ans. It needed a hand.

21. What car does a teddy bear drive?
Ans. Toy-ota.

22. Where does a bunny go for grooming?
Ans. A hare dresser.

23. What bone will a dog never eat?
Ans. Trombone

24. What do you call a song sang in an automobile?
Ans. Carton.

25. What tree is always unhappy?
Ans. The blue spruce.

26. How do you make a hot dog stand?
Ans.Steal its chair.

27. What did the rug say to the floor?
Ans. Don't move i"ve got you covered.

28. What has one horn and give mild?
Ans. A milk truck.

29. Why shouldn't you tell a secret to a pig?
Ans. He's a squealer.

30. What kind of paper makes you itch?
Ans. Scratch paper.

31. What doesn't get any wetter no matter how hard it rains?
Ans. The ocean.

32. How does a boat show affection?
Ans. It hugs the shore.

33. What goes up and down but doesn't move?
Ans. A staircase.

34. What can you hold without ever touching it?
Ans. A conversation.

35. What bird can lift the most?
Ans. A crane

36. Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
Ans. So he could hide in the strawberry patch.

37. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dentipede?
Ans. Drumsticks for everyone.

38. Why did Tigger jump down the toilet?
Ans. He was looking for Pooh.

39. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Ans. Look pop no hands.

40. Why was the guy fired from the orange juice factory?
Ans. He couldn't concentrate.

41. What do bees do with their honey?
Ans. They cell it.

42. What country makes you shiver?
Ans. Chile.

43. What did Mason say to Dixon?
Ans. We have to draw the line.

44. What is the happiest day for a mosquto?
Ans. The day he passes his screen test.

45. What do you call a turkey on Thanksgiving?
Ans. A stuffed animal.

46. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
Ans. I think I am coming down with something.

47. Why did the boy go to bed with a hammer?
Ans. He wanted to hit the sack.

48. How do you know when an elephant is under your bed?
Ans. Your nose is hitting the ceiling.

49. Why did the elephant leave the circus?
Ans. He was tired of working for peanuts.

50. Why did the dog chase its tail?
Ans. To make ends meet.

51. What happened when the dog swallowed a clock?
Ans. He had a lot of ticks.

52. What kind of animal doesn't believe in anything?
Ans. Sheep they say bah to everything.

53. What did the doctor say when he finished the operation?
Ans. That's enough out of you.

54. What piece of wood is like a king?
Ans. A ruler.

55. When is a man like a dog?
Ans. When he's a boxer.

56. How driver doesn't have a license?
Ans. A screwdriver.

57. What is the brightest fish?
Ans. Sunfish.

58. What pillar is never used to hold up a building?
Ans. Caterpiller.

59. When does a potato change nationality?
Ans. When it is French fried.

60. What do young koalas do at the weekend?
Ans. They spend koala-ty time with their parents.

61. While do mother koalas carry babies on their backs?
Ans. It is too hard to push a buggy up a tree.

62. What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide and seek?
Ans. Fowl play.

63. What happens when ducks fly upside down?
Ans. They quack up.

64. What do you get if you cross a woodpecker and a carrier pigeon?
Ans. A bird who knocks before delivering the message.

65. What do you call a very rude bird?
Ans. A mockingbird.

66. Where do birds meet for coffee?
Ans. A nest-cafe.

67. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
Ans. WIth a sparrowchute.

68. What is green and pecks on trees?
Ans. Woody Wood Pickle.

69. What happened when the owl lost his voice?
Ans. He didn't give a hoot.

70. What do you call a Scottish parrot?
Ans. A Macaw.

71. What do you call a bird that lives underground?
Ans. A mynah bird.

72. What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
Ans. A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road.

73. When does a dog go moo?
Ans. When it is learning a new language.

74. What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off the table?
Ans. He gets splinters in his mouth.

75. What is a bee line?
Ans. The shortest distance between two buzz-stops.

76. What is a baby bee?
Ans. A little humbug.

77. What do bees chew?
Ans. Bumble gum.

78. What does a bee say before it stings you?
Ans. This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

79. Why was the boy surprise when he saw celery growing out of his ears?
Ans. He had planted radishes.

80. Who are the police of the fruit world? Ans. The apri-cops.

81. What is stucco?
Ans. It is what you get when you sit on gummo.

82. What did one zombie say to the other zombie?
Ans. Get a life.

83. What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a spider web?
Ans. A hare net.

84. If every dog has his day what does a dog with a broken tail have?
Ans. A weak end.

85. What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Ans. Bell-bottoms.

86. Where is the best place on the road to stop and eat?
Ans. Anywhere there's a fork in the road.

87. How do you catch a runaway dog?
Ans. Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone.

88. What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
Ans. Wire haired terriors.

89. What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?
Ans. An elephant on a lift.

90. What is grey, carries a wand, has big wings, and gives money to elephants?
Ans. The tusk fairy.

91. What medicine would you give an ill ant?
Ans. Antibiotics.

92. What is smaller than an ant's dinner?
Ans. An ant's mouth.

93. What is the smartest mountain in the world?
Ans. Mt. Rushmore, it has four heads.

94. What do they call a pig who knows karate?
Ans. A pork chop.

95. Why was cupid arrested?
Ans. He was caught stealing hearts.

96. Where do ants go for their holidays?
Ans. Frants.

97. What do you call an ant who skips school?
Ans. Truant.

98. How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ans. Ready teddy go.

99. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
Ans. A bear faced lyre.

100. Why do bears have fur coats?
Ans. Because they would look stupid in anoraks.