1. What do you call someone who steals birds?
Ans. A birdler.

2. What did the fish say to his friend after the draught?
Ans. Long time no see.

3. Why did the teacher fall in love with the janitor?
Ans. He swept her off her feet.

4. Why did the window cry?
Ans. It had window pains.

5. Why is a dog so hot in summer?
Ans. He wears a coat and pants.

6. How many legs does a horse have if you call his tail a leg?
Ans. Four a tail is still a tail no matter what you call it.

7. Which fish can perform operations?
Ans. A sturgeon.

8. WHat lives in the ocean is grouchy and hates neighbors?
Ans. A hermit crab.

9. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
Ans. As far away as possible.

10. What happened to a shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
Ans. He got lockjaw.

11. Where do fish wash?
Ans. In a river basin.

12. What fish only swims at night?
Ans. A starfish.

13. How do fish go into business?
Ans. They start on a small scale.

14. Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Ans. Angelfish.

15. What do fish sing to each other?
Ans. Salmon-chanted evening.

16. What does a bee get at MacDonalds?
Ans. A humburger.

17. What's more dangerous than being a fool?
Ans. Fooling with a bee.

18. Who is a bee's favorite painter?
Ans. Pablo Beecasso.

19. What did the bee say to the other bee in summer?
Ans. Swarm here isn't it?

20. What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?
Ans. Bee-thoven.

21. Why did the rooster refuse to fight?
Ans. He was a chicken.

22. What pie can fly?
Ans. Magpie.

23. Where does an eskimo pig live?
Ans. In a pigloo.

24. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
Ans. To see Pluto.

25. Where does a sheep get a hair cut?
Ans. At the baa baa shop.

26. What kind of doctor treats ducks?
Ans. A quack.

27. What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
Ans. Lumpy milkshakes.

28. Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
Ans. So he can sneak up on mice.

29. How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
Ans. They cry over spilt milk.

30. How are tiger like sergeants in the army?
Ans. They both wear stripes.

31. What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
Ans. A peeping tom.

32. What kind of dog chases anything red?
Ans. A bull dog.

33. What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
Ans. A guard dog.

34. What do you get if you cross a computer and a rottweiller?
Ans. A computer with a lot of bites.

35. Why is it hard to have a conversation with a bull around?
Ans. He likes to butt in.

36. Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. To get to the body shop.

37. How do you keep a bull from charging?
Ans. Take away his credit card.

38. How did Noah build the ark?
Ans. He studied archeology.

39. What is black and white and read all over?
Ans. The paper.

40. What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
Ans. Hoppalong Cassidy.

41. What do toads drink?

Ans. Croaka cola.

42. When is a car like a frog?
Ans. When its being toad.

43. What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
Ans. A hoppercraft.

44. What kind of shoes do frogs like?
Ans. Open toad sandals.

45. Why did the queen bee kick out all the other bees?
Ans. They kept droning on and on.

46. What kind of bee can't be understood?
Ans. A mumble bee.

47. Where do bees keep their money?
Ans. In a honey box.

48. What did the good bee say to the naughty bee?
Ans. Bee-hive yourself.

49. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Ans. They use honey combs.

50. What kind of elephants live in Antartica?
Ans. Cold ones.

51. What is another name for a rooster?
Ans. A farm alarm.

52. What is filled with ink and has no hair?
Ans. A bald point pen.

53. When did the knife get home?
Ans. In the nick of time.

54. How do you have a good space party?
Ans. Plan it.

55. Why did the bird have so much energy?
Ans. It was sitting on a power line.

56. What type of writer does a waiter use?
Ans. Menuscript.

57. Where does a ghost live?
Ans. On a dead end street.

58. What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?
Ans. The actors get stage fright.

59. When is a clock dead?
Ans. When its time is up.

60. Where does a cow get its medicine from?
Ans. A farm-acy.

61. Where can you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Ans. Sundae School.

62. What kind of soda do trees drink?
Ans. Root beer.

63. What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
Ans. Puss in boots.

64. What cat purrs more than other cats?
Ans. Purrsians.

65 What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
Ans. There was some money in the kitty.

66. What is the ugliest kind of cat to have?
Ans. Catastrophe.

67. What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
Ans. A cat-a-logue.

68. What do you call a flea that lives in an idiot's ear?
Ans. A space invader.

69. What insect runs away from everything?
Ans. A flee.

70. Where did the computer go to dance?
Ans. A disc-o.

71. What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?
Ans. Russell.

72. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
Ans. A Clausterphobic.

73. What position did the witch play on the football team?
Ans. Sweeper.

74. What position did the pile of wood play in the football game?
Ans. De-fence.

75. Why couldn't the slow boxer get a drink at the party?
Ans. Everyone else beat him to the punch.

76. Why was the archaeologist upset?
Ans. His job was in ruins.

77. Why was the butcher worried?
Ans. His job was at steak.

78. Why do leopards have a hard time hiding?
Ans. They are always spotted.

79. What do you call a small fake horse?
Ans. A phony pony.

80. What kind of pine has the sharpest needles?
Ans. A porcupine.

81. What did the raindrop couple invite their friends to?
Ans. Their wetting.

82. What kind of nuts do female sheep buy?
Ans. Cash-ewes.

83. What's a haunted chicken?
Ans. A poultry-geist.

84. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Ans. Boo boos.

85. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
Ans. They are good at keeping things under wraps.

86. Wat kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ans. Ghost Toasties.

87. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
Ans. They might fly off the handle.

88. Who won the skeleton beauty ontest?
Ans. No Body.

89. Where do baby ghost go during the day?
Ans. To dayscares.

90. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
Ans. His ghoul friend.

91. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ans. Ice Scream.

92. What's a monster's favorite play?
Ans. Romeo and Ghouliet.

93. What do witches put on their hair?
Ans. Scare spray.

94. What kind of money do fishermen make?
Ans. Net profits.

95. What does the invisible man drink at lunchtime?
Ans. Evaporated milk.

96. What kind of soda must you not drink?
Ans. Baking soda.

97. What part of your body has the most rhythm?
Ans. Your eardrums.

98. Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
Ans. He was caught drinking on the job.

99. Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?
Ans. Women can see right through them.

100. What do ghost drive?
Ans. Boo-icks.