1. What do insects learn in school?
Ans. Mothmatics.

2. What's the biggest moth in the world?
Ans. Mammoth.

3. Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
Ans. He wanted to see the floor show.

4. Why was the moth so unpopular?
Ans. He kept picking holes in everything.

5. What is the most religious insect?
Ans. A mosque-ito.

6. What's the difference bewteen a lawyer and a mosquito?
Ans. A mosquito drops off when you die.

7. Why are mosquitos so religous?
Ans. They like to prey.

8. Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?
Ans. He wanted to improve his bite.

9. Why did the doll blush?
Ans. She saw the teddy bear.

10. What sort of ring is always square?
Ans. A boxing ring.

11. What book do you buy to teach children how to fight?
Ans. A scrap book.

12. Why did the doctor take his nose to pieces?
Ans. He wanted to see what made it run.

13. What do you get if you cross two young dogs with a pair of headsets?
Ans. A pair of hush puppies.

14. How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog and a melon?
Ans. Melon-collie.

15. What do you call a litter of young dogs who have came in from the snow?
Ans. Slush puppies.

16. What do you get if you cross a gun dog with a telephone?
Ans. A golden receiver.

17. How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Ans. Terrior-fied.

18. What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
Ans. A dusky husky.

19. Why did the man bury money in his flower garden?
Ans. He wanted to make the soil rich.

20. Why are referees like the seven dwarfs?
Ans. They whistle while they work.

21. What kind of fruit is fed to scarecrows?
Ans. Strawberries.

22. What do sea monsters eat?
Ans. Submarine sandwiches.

23. What do you do when a baby astronaut cries?
Ans. Rock it.

24. What is an owl's favorite subject?
Ans. Owlgebra.

25. Why did the baker stay home from work?
Ans. He was feeling crumby.

26. What is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance?
Ans. When they're not home.

27. When doesn't a telephone work underwater?
Ans. When it is wringing wet.

28. What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Ans. Bell-bottoms.

29. What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be somebody else?
Ans. A big phone-y.

30. How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
Ans. You get a buzzy signal.

31. What do you call the secret language used in your area?
Ans. Area Code.

32. What should you do when you want to talk to Bill?
Ans. Phone Bill.

33. What is the best way to talk to King Kong?
Ans. Long Distance.

34. What animals talk on the telephone the most?
Ans. The Yakity-Yaks.

35. What do you get if you cross your telephone with a recorder and an alligator?
Ans. A snappy answering machine.

36. What do you get if you cross a phone and a rooster?
Ans. A wake-up call.

37. What do you get if you cross a wake-up call with a chicken?
Ans. An alarm cluck.

38. What do you get if you cross the telephone with a fat football player?
Ans. A wide receiver.

39. What do you get if you cross a telephone with a pelican?
Ans. A big bill.

40. What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler?
Ans. Ringworm.

41. How does a three headed secretary answer the phone?
Ans. Hello Hello Hello.

42. How do you stop dirty phone calls?
Ans. Dial Soap.

43. In what position is a boy when he talks on the phone?
Ans. Himalyan.

44. Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire?
Ans. She wanted to lay it on the line.

45. How do little rattlesnakes call home?
Ans. Poison to poison.

46. Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
Ans. To stay away from the nuts on the ground.

47. Why didn't the skelton need a telephone?

Ans. He had nobody to talk to.

48. Why didn't the mummy want a telephone?
Ans. He always got to wrapped up in his calls.

49. Why did the vampire answer the phone in his pajamas?
Ans. He couldn't find his bat robe.

50. What do you get if you cross a broken telephone and a football player?
A. A quarterback.

51. Why do vampires brush their teeth?
Ans. They don't want to have bat breath.

52. What kind of cookie do sea serpents eat?
Ans. Chocolate ship.

53. What is a snake's best subject in school?
Ans. Hisstory.

54. Why was the barn so noisy?
Ans. The cows had horns.

55. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a yak?
Ans. A yakety yak.

56. What is an aligator's favorite drink?
Ans. Gatorade.

57. What do you get if you cross a telephone with a ghost?
Ans. A phantom caller.

58. What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog?
Ans. A golden receiver.

59. How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
Ans. They both have rings.

60. What did the answering machine say to the telephone?
Ans. Take my word for it.

61. What did the fax machine say to the telephone?
Ans. You send me.

62. What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?
Ans. Money's tight these days.

63. Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
Ans. It was out of odor.

64. How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
Ans. Y-E-L-L-O.

65. How can you tell if someone who's just had a perm is on the phone?
Ans. You have a frizzy connection.

66. How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone?
Ans. You get a tizzy signal.

67. What do you get if you cross a telephone and an iron?
Ans. A smooth operator.

68. What do you get if you cross a telephone with a vampire?
Ans. A ring--ding ding bat.

69. What did the little phone want to do when you grew up?
Ans. Join Ringling Brothers Circus.

70. What did the proud telephone couple name their new quadruplets?
Ans. Annabelle, Arline, Cordelia, and Jack.

71. What happened to the little frog that sat on the telephone?
Ans. He grew up to be a bellhop.

72. Why did Mrs. Yak call Mrs. Gnu after she'd just had twins?
Ans. To yak about the latest gnus.

73. When does a horse talk on the phone?
Ans. Whinny wants to.

74. How does a football player make phone calls?
Ans. On a touch-down phone.

75. How does a baritone make phone calls?
Ans. Song distance.

76.. How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
Ans. Collect.

77. What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?
Ans. A party line.

78. What do you get if you cross a phone with a pair of glasses?
Ans. Television.

79. What do you get if you cross a phone with mouthwash?
Ans. Tele-Scope.

80. What did the frog say when she called her boyfriend?
Ans. Let's live hoppily ever after.

81. Why did Silly Sally think she was engaged?
Ans. Her boyfriend said he'd give her a ring tonight.

82. Why does an octopus need so many phones?
Ans. So he can reach out and touch somebody.

83. What kind of music do phones like to hear?
Ans. A symphony.

84. Why was the goblin's phone bill so high?
Ans. He made lots of troll calls.

85. How does a barber make phone calls?
Ans. He cuts them short.

86. How does a baboon make phone calls?
Ans. He just monkey's around on the line.

87. How does a skelton make calls?
Ans. On a bone phone.

88. What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?
Ans. Oops King Kong ring wrong.

89. What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?
Ans. A phone moan.

90. What kind of bee hums and drops things?
Ans. A fumble bee.

91. What did the bee say to the flower?
Ans. Hello Honey.

92. What is a bee's favorite flower?
Ans. Bee-gonia.

93. What is a bee's favorite film?
Ans. The Sting.

94. What goes hum choo hum choo?
Ans. A bee with a cold.

95. How do really small people call each other?
Ans. With a microphone.

96. How did the carpenter break his teeth?
Ans. He chewed his nails.

97. What is the best day to go to the beach?
Ans. Sunday.

98. What bow can't be tied?
Ans. A rainbow.

99. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe pollish?
Ans. You will rise and shine every morning.

100. What does a teddy bear put in his house?
Ans. Fur-niture.