1. Why did the basketball floor get wet?
Ans. The players dribbled on it.

2. Why did the moron go to the dressing room?
Ans. To change his mind.

3. What do you get if you cross a sheep dog with a rose?
Ans. A collie-flower.

4. Why do dogs wag their tails?
Ans. No one else will do it for them.

5. Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
Ans. It's not polite to talk back to your paw.

6. What is the dogs favorite city?
Ans. New Yorkie.

7. Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
Ans. Growlcho Marx.

8. What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
Ans. Well, doggone.

9. What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
Ans. He stole the show.

10. How do you know you have a stupid dog?
Ans. If he chases parked cars.

11. What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
Ans. A jet setter.

12. What do dogs have that no other animals have?
Ans. Puppy dogs.

13. Why are mountain climbers curious?
Ans. They always want to take another peak.

14. When is rabbit soup not good?
Ans. When there is a hare in it.

15. Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?
Ans. To a retail store.

16. Where did the butcher dance?
Ans. At the meatball.

17. Where do snowmen keep their money?
Ans. In snowbanks.

18. How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
Ans. A bucaneer.

19. How many letters are in the alphabet?
Ans. There were 26 but since ET went home there are 24.

20. How do you make a Keenex dance?
Ans. Put a little boogie in it.

21. What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?
Ans. Discordant.

22. What kind of ant is good at math?
Ans. An accountant.

23. How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ans. Ten ants.

24. Why did the egg have to take a nap?
Ans. It was eggshausted.

25. What can you throw but not catch?
Ans. A party.

26. What did the girl tractor say to the boy tractor?
Ans. Come here John Deere.

27. What mouse was ruler of the Romans? Ans. Julius Cheeser.

28. Why was the frog down in the mouth?
Ans. He was un-hoppy.

29. What's a toad's favorite ballet?
Ans. Swamp Lake.

30. Why did the lizard go on a diet?
Ans. It weighed too much for its scales.

31. What is a polygon?
Ans. A dead parrot.

32. What do you get if you cross a duck with a fireworks?
Ans. A firequacker.

33. What is a parrot's favorite game?
Ans. Hide and speak.

34. What is the definition of Robin?
Ans. A bird who steals.

35. What do you give a sick bird?
Ans. Tweetment.

36. Where do birds invest their money?
Ans. In the stork market.

37. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
Ans. A bird that talks in morse code.

38. What birds spend all their time on their knees?
Ans. Birds of prey.

39. What did they call the canary that flewinto the pastry dish?
Ans. Tweetie pie.

40. What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
Ans. Jail birds.

41. Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?
Ans. They're both full of stuffing.

42. What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
Ans. Darn it.

43. What do worms leave around their bath tubs?
Ans. The scum of the earth.

44. What reads and lives in an apple?
Ans. A bookworm.

45. What do you get if you cross a worm and a goat?
Ans. A dirty kid.

46. Why did the cook try to make the cucmber laugh?
Ans. To see if it was picklish.

47. Where is the best place to grow flowers in school?
Ans. Kindergarten.

48. What is a car's favorite game show?
Ans. Wheel of Fortune.

49. What did the horse say when he finished eating his hay?
Ans. That's the last straw.

50. Where do bees go when they are hurt?
Ans. Waspital.

51. What did BIlly say after he learned how to count money?
Ans. It all makes cents now.

52. What did the painter say to the wall?
Ans. One more crack like that and I'll plaster you.

53. What is stranger then seeing a catfish?
Ans. Seeing a goldfish bowl.

54. What do you get if you cross a trout and an apartment?
Ans. A flat fish.

55. What do you call a fish that drinks too much?
Ans. Beer-a-cuda.

56. Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Ans. Billy the Squid.

57. What happened to the cold jellyfish?
Ans. It set.

58. What's the coldest fish in the sea?
Ans. A blue whale.

59. What is life like for a wood worm?
Ans. Boring.

60. What's a worm's favorite band?
Ans. Mud.

61. What is the maggot army called?
Ans. The Apple Corps.

62. Hos do you make a glow worm happy?
Ans. Cut off its tail for it will be de-lighted.

63. WHat did the worm say to the other worm when he was late home?
Ans. Where in earth have you been?

64. When should you stop for a glow worm?
Ans. When he has a red light.

65. What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?
Ans. Pooched eggs.

66. How do you stop a rooster crowing on Sunday?
Ans. Eat him on Saturday.

67. Why did the foal cough?
Ans. Because he was a little horse.

68. What is the opposite of cock o doodle doo?
Ans. Cock o doodle don't.

69. Where do milkshakes come from?
Ans. Excited cows.

70. What is a cow's favorite tv show?
Ans. Dr. Moo.

71. Why was the farmer hopping mad?
Ans. Someone had trodden on his corn.

72. What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?
Ans. A sheep that is under the weather.

73. Why do cows like being told jokes?
Ans. They like being amoosed.

74. What do you get if you cross a pile of mud and a pig?
Ans. A groundhog.

75. How do you take a pig to the hospital?
Ans. By hambulance.

76. What do you call a joke book for chickens?
Ans. A yolk book.

77. Where do you take sick ponies?
Ans. A horsepital.

78. Who tells chicken jokes?
Ans. Comedihens.

79. What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
Ans. AN egg-splosion.

80. Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
Ans. In a hog cabin.

81. What is the slowest race horse in the world?
Ans. A clotheshorse.

82. Why do pigs never recover from illness?
Ans. They are always killed before they are cured.

83. What do you call a pig who has been arrested for dangerous driving?
Ans. A road hog.

84. What do you call sheep that live together?
Ans. Pen friends.

85. What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
Ans. An egg.

86. What kind of stuff does a farmer talk about when he is milking a cow?
Ans. Udder nonsense.

87. What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Ans. Dad look what marma-laid.

88. What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
Ans. A pigtail.

89. What kind of dog does Dracula have?
Ans. A bloodhound.

90. What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
Ans. A sausage dog.

91. What do you do if your dog eats your pen?
Ans. Use a pencil instead.

92. What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
Ans. A petticoat.

93. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
Ans. His bark was much worse than its bite.

94. What can a whole orange do that half an orange can't do?
Ans. Look round.

95. Why do you always find things in the last place you look?
Ans. Afte you find it you quit looking.

96. Why do you always walk with the right foot first?
Ans. When you put one foot forward the other one is always left.

97. What always falls without getting hurt?
Ans. Rain.

98. What word is always pronounced wrong?
Ans. Wrong.

99. How do electric eels taste?
Ans. Shocking.

100. What insect lives on nothing?
Ans. A moth cause it eats holes.