1. What kind of cloth would you buy to make a dress for a fat lady?
Ans. Broadcloth.

2. What increases its value by one half when turned upside down?
Ans. The number 6.

3. Which part of a fish weighs the most?
Ans. The scales.

4. What is it that no one wishes to have but also wishes not to lose it once they have it?
Ans. A bald head.

5. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
Ans. You're too young to smoke.

6. Why do white sheep eat more than black sheep?
Ans. There are more of them.

7. What did the mayonnaise say to the refridgerator?
Ans. Close the door I amdressing.

8. What is more useful when it is broken?
Ans. An egg.

9. What would a cannibal be who ate his mother's sister?
Ans. An aunt eater.

10. Why are weary people like automobile wheels?
Ans. They are tired.

11. What is the best way to carry water in a sieve?
Ans. Freeze it.

12. Why is a brand new puppy like a penny?
Ans. Each has a head and a tail.

13. What is the best butter in the world?
Ans. A Goat.

14. What did one flea say to the other flea?
Ans. Shall we walk or take a dog.

15. What do we often see made but never see after it is made?
Ans. Noise.

16. What is over your head but under your hat?
Ans. Hair.

17. What gets lost when you stand up?
Ans. Your lap.

18. What is the difference between the north pole and the south pole?
Ans. All the difference in the world.

19. What is higher without a head than with a head?
Ans. A pillow.

20. Why does a fireman wear red suspenders?
Ans. To keep his pants up.

21. What is it that will be yesterday and was tomorrow?
Ans. Today.

22. What gets bigger when you take more away from it?
Ans. A hole.

23. Why is a pair or skates like an apple?
Ans. They both had something to do with the fall of man.

24. What word do you always pronounce wrong?
Ans. Wrong.

25. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Ans. Finding half a worm.

26. What nut is like a sneeze?
Ans. Cashew.

27. What comes right up to the door but never into the house?
Ans. The sidewalk.

28. How many books can you put into an empty school bag?
Ans. One because it isn't empty any more.

29. With what two animals do you always go to bed?
Ans. Two calves.

30. What is taller sitting then standing?
Ans. A dog.

31. What is the difference between a buffalo and a flea?
Ans. A buffalo can have a flea but a flea can't have a buffalo.

32. What sings and has eight legs?
Ans. A quartet.

33. What is full of holes and can hold water?
Ans. A sponge.

34. What makes more noise then a pig caught under a fence?
Ans. Two pigs under a fence.

35. Born at the same time as the world and destined to live as long as the world but never five weeks old, what is it?
Ans. The moon.

36. Why is a watchdog bigger by night than he is by day?
Ans. He is let out at night and taken in during the day.

37. When you lose something why is it you find it in the last place you look?
Ans. You stop looking.

38. What has eighteen legs and catches flies?
Ans. A baseball team.

39. What goes up and down but stays in one place?
Ans. A road.

40. Why do they say a rooster is a very perticular bird?
Ans. He won't lend out his comb.

41. Those with eyes have no heads and those with heads have no eyes what are they?
Ans. Pins and Needles.

42. What has more feet in winter then in summer?
Ans. An ice skating rink.

43. What does a tooth and a tree have in common?
Ans. They both have roots.

44. What can speak every language but never went to school?
Ans. An echo.

45. Why do dragons sleep in the daytime?
Ans. They like to hunt Knights.

46. What is it that has never been felt, heard, never existed, and still has a name?
Ans. Nothing.

47. What is the difference between here and there?
Ans. The letter T.

48. Why does a rabbit have a shiny nose?
Ans. Becasue its powder puff is at the other end.

49. What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?
Ans. One eats to live and the other lives to eat.

50. What can you hold without touching?
Ans. Your breath.

51. Who is not my sister or brother but still a child of my father?
Ans. Me.

52. Why is a quarrel like a bargain?
Ans. It takes two to make it.

53. What is it that has four legs and only one foot?
Ans. A bed.

54. Why was the mother flea crying?
Ans. Because her babies all went to the dogs.

55. What can't be seen but is everywhere?
Ans. The air.

56. Why does an indian wear feathers?
Ans. To keep his wigwam.

57. What runs around the whole yard but never moves?
Ans. The fence.

58. What key is the hardest to turn?
Ans. A donkey.

59. Why are pianos like good people?
Ans. Because they are upright and grand.

60. What do bees do with their honey?
Ans. They cell it.

61. What walks on one foot and hums like a bee?
Ans. A top.

62. What is smaller than an ant's mouth?
Ans. What goes into it.

63. What has teeth and never eats?
Ans. A comb.

64. What do we have in December that we don't have in any other month?
Ans. The letter D.

65. When was beef the highest?
Ans. When the cow jumped over the moon.

66. What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Ans. Ghost Toasties and evaporated milk.

67. How does a witch tell time?
Ans. With a witch watch.

68. Why is a snake a careless animal?
Ans. Because he loses his skin.

69. Why should pretty girls set good examples?
Ans. Because boys are apt to follow them.

70. What is it that everyone wants but wants to get rid of as soon as they have it?
Ans. A good appetite.

71. Why is a healthy boy like the United States?
Ans. Because he has a good constitution.

72. If12 make a dozen how many make a million?
Ans. Very Few.

73. Who dares to sit before the Queen Of England with their hat on?
Ans. Her chaufeur.

74. What keeps the moon in place?
Ans. Its beams.

75. When is a hat not a hat?
Ans. When it becomes a pretty girl.

76. What is the difference between a prize fighter and a cold?
Ans. One knows his blows and the other blows his nose.

77. How can you change a pumpkin into another vegetable?
Ans. Throw it in the air and let it fall to the ground it will turn into squash.

78. What is a professor?
Ans. A textbook wired for sound.

79. What is it that is always behind in time?
Ans. The back of a clock.

80. What is a baseball game like a cake?
Ans. Both depend on the batter.

81. What breaks but does not fall and what falls but does not break?
Ans. Day breaks and night falls.

82. What is the best paper to make a kite out of?
Ans. Fly paper.

83. What is the biggest jewel in the world?
Ans. A baseball diamond.

84. What bird is low spirited?
Ans. A Blue Bird.

85. What kind of man is a dentist?
Ans. One with a lot of pull.

86. Why did the man take sugar and cream to the movies?
Ans. He heard there was a new serial.

87. When is a boart affectionate?
Ans. When it hugs the shore.

88. What is it that has a face but no head, hands but no feet, travels everywhere and is usually running?
Ans. A watch.

89. What did the chicken say when she saw a plate of scrambled eggs?
Ans. What a bunch of mixed up kids.

90. Why are fishermen so stingy?
Ans. Their business makes them sell-fish.

91. What travels without feet and speaks without a mouth?
Ans. A letter.

92. Which bird can lift the heaviest weight?
Ans. A crane.

93. How do you open the locked gate at a cemetary?
Ans. You use a skeleton key.

94. What belongs to you but is used more by others?
Ans. Your name.

95. What goes through a door but never goes in or comes out?
Ans. A keyhole.

96. What has 88 keys but can't unlock a door?
Ans. A piaon.

97. What is a bull when he is sleeping?
Ans. A bull dozer.

98. What is it that has four legs, eats oats, has a tail, and sees equally well from both ends?
Ans. A blind mule.

99. What has a bed but never sleeps?
Ans. A river.

100. What is horse sense?
Ans. Just stable thinking.