1. Why was the giant Goliath astonished when David hit him with a stone?
Ans. Such a thing had never entered his head before.

2. What can you hold in your left hand that you can't hold in your right hand?
Ans. Your right elbow.

3. What table doesn't have a leg to stand on?
Ans. Multiplication table.

4. Why does a giraffe eat very little?
Ans. He has to make a little go a long way.

5. What doesn't ask questions but must be answered?
Ans. Telephone.

6. What two flowers decorate a zoo?
Ans. Dandelion and tiger lily.

7. Why is a dog's tail like the heart of a tree?
Ans. It's fartherest from the bark.

8. How many peas in a pint?
Ans. One.

9. What bites but isn't alive?
Ans. Frost.

10. Why would a barber rather shave ten men from Boston than one man from San Francisco?
Ans. He would get ten times as much money.

11. When is a piece of wood like a queen?
Ans. When it is a ruler.

12. When is a string like a piece of wood?
Ans. When it has knots in it.

13. What is it that stay hot even if you put it in a freezer?
Ans. Pepper.

14. The greater it is the less it can be seen what is it?
Ans. Darkness.

15. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?
Ans. Whoa.

16. How can you tell that the train is gone?
Ans. When you see its tracks.

17. What is the quietest game played?
Ans. Bowling cause you can hear a pin drop.

18. Why did Tommie take a ruler to bed?
Ans. To see how long he slept.

19. What is a pickle?
Ans. A cucumber in a sour mood.

20. What is the difference between a cloud and a boy who is being spanked?
Ans. One pours rain and the other roars with pain.

21. What fish may be said to be out of place?
Ans. A perch in a bird cage.

22. What falls often but never gets hurt?
Ans. Rain.

23. Why is your hand like a hardware store?
Ans. It has nails.

24. Who always goes to bed with his shoes on?
Ans. A horse.

25. What roof never keeps out the wet?
Ans. The roof of your mouth.

26. What animal has the smallest appetite?
Ans. A moth it eats holes.

27. What can you swallow that can also swallow you?
Ans. Water.

28. What did one ghost say to the other?
Ans. Do you believe in people?

29. What is it that you cannot see but it is always before you?
Ans. The future.

30. When does a man have four hands?
Ans. When he doubles his fists.

31. At what time of the day was Adam created?
Ans. A little before Eve.

32. What is bought by the yard and worn by the foot?
Ans. Carpet.

33. What can pass before the sun without making a shadow?
Ans. The wind.

34. What did the adding machine say to the clerk?
Ans. You can count on me.

35. What fruit can you buy from an electric plant?
Ans. Currents.

36. What is a raisin?
Ans. A worried grape.

37. What is the richest country in the world?
Ans. Ireland cause its capital is always Dublin.

38. What can let you see through walls?
Ans. Windows.

39. What runs but has no legs and has a mouth but cannot swallow?
Ans. A river.

40. What has a big head but cannot think?
Ans. A cabbage.

41. What has ears but cannot hear?
Ans. A cornstalk.

42. What lives in winter, dies in summer, and grows with its roots sticking upward?
Ans. An icicle.

43. Why does a dog turn around several times before lying down?
Ans. One good turn deserves another.

44. What land do very small children like the best?
Ans. Lapland.

45. What does everyone give and few take?
Ans. Advice.

46. What has arms and legs but no head?
Ans. A chair.

47. Why is a ship the most polite thing in the world?
Ans. It always proceeds with a bow.

48. What goes up but never comes down?
Ans. Your age.

49. What is filled every morning and emptied every night?
Ans. A shoe.

50. What coin is double in its value when half is deducted?
Ans. A half-dollar.

51. Why does that letter bring tears to your eyes?
Ans. It is written on onion skin.

52. Why does the moon go to the bank?
Ans. To change quarters.

53. Why did the weatherman lose his job?
Ans. The weather didn't agree with him.

54. Why is the sea restless?
Ans. It has rocks in its bed.

55. What is the best way to avoid infections from biting insects?
Ans. Don't bite any.

56. What do jigsaw puzzles do when they get bad news?
Ans. Go to pieces.

57. What do members of the Scooby Doo fan club pay?
Ans. Scooby dues.

58. Who is Scooby Doo's evil twin?
Ans. Scooby Don't.

59. Why did the mother horse scold her colt?
Ans. For misbehooving.

60. How do baby birds know how to fly?
Ans. They just wing it.

61. What did the parrot say to the street car?
Ans. Trolley want a cracker?

62. Where do fish go to get a degree?
Ans. Tuna-versity.

63. How do loudmouths pay for college?
Ans. They get hollershipes.

64. How do you hit slime?
Ans. With a sludgehammer.

65. How do you measure an aardvark?
Ans. With an aardstick.

66. What star slept for 100 years?
Ans. Rip Van Twinkle.

67. How do frightened skdivers scream for help?
Ans. They parashout.

68. Who delivers trees overnight?
Ans. Federal Ezspruce.

69. Where do dead letters go?
Ans. To the ghost office.

70. What is a frog's favorite magazine?
Ans. Warts Illustrated.

71. Where do customers trade merchandise?
Ans. In swapping malls.

72. If you buy doughnuts by the dozen how do you buy bees?
Ans. By the buzzin.

73. How do ugly ducklings live their lves?
Ans. Swan day at a time.

74. What long necked bird can't be seen?
Ans. Casper the friendly goose.

75. What do you lend a needy vet?
Ans. A helping hound.

76. What do vets keep outside their door?
Ans. A welcome mutt.

77. Where do smart dogs refuse to shop?
Ans. At flea markets.

78. Do cats confide in each other?
Ans. Yes they purr their hearts out to each other.

79. What haired brained animal climbed up the water sprout?
Ans. The itsy ditsy spider.

80. What insect is hard to understand?
Ans. A mumble bee.

81. What do you hear when you call a talkative bee?
Ans. A buzzy signal.

82. What do counselors lead at bee camp?
Ans. Sting alongs.

83. How do you revive a butterfly that has fainted?
Ans. Moth to moth resuscitation.

84. What does a crazy butterfly come out of?
Ans. A kook-oon.

85. Why did the lamb go out in the middle of the night?
Ans. It was sheep walking.

86. What did the mother groundhog say to encourage her young one?
Ans. Gopher it.

87. What animal hangs around cages and wins spelling bees?
Ans. An alpha-bat.

88. What snake builds things?
Ans. A boo constructor.

89. What poinsonous snake is most spoiled by its parents?
Ans. A brattlesnake.

90. What lizard eats a lot of vegetables?
Ans. Salad mander.

91. Who is the most boring alligator?
Ans. A crocodull.

92. What does Charlie the Tuna get from his admirers?
Ans. Fin mail.

93. What happens when you try to recognize sea mammals?
Ans. You can't tell one from the otter.

94. What do roosters pay when they join clubs?
Ans. Cock-a-doodle dues.

95. What naught cow jumps off buildings just for fun?
Ans. A dairy devil.

96. What is the phone company's favorite song?
Ans. Jingle Bells.

97. How did the three little pigs know the big bad wolf was mad.
Ans. He left in a huff.

98. What did Bambi put on the back of his car?
Ans. A Thumper sticker.

99. What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a computer?
Ans. A bunny with floppy ears.

100. What goes up every time the rain comes down?
Ans. An umbrella.