1. What goes cackle, cackle, bonk?
Ans. A witch laughing her head off!

2. What are baby witches called?
Ans. Halloweenies!

3. What do you call a witches motor bike?
Ans. A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick!

4. How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye?
Ans. When it comes out in conversation!

5. What is the witches motto?
Ans. We came, we saw, we conjured!

6. What happens to a witch when she loses her temper while riding her broom?
Ans. She flies off the handle!

7. How do you make a witch itch?
Ans. Take away the "w"!

8. What do you call a nervous witch?
Ans. A twitch!

9. What kind of tests do they give in witch school?
Ans. Hex-aminations!

10. What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
Ans. A very witch person!

11. How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?
Ans. Out of flying saucers!

12. What do witches ring for in a hotel?
Ans. B-room service!

13. Who's the fastest witch?
Ans. The ones that ride on a vroom stick!

14. Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Ans. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

15. What kind ofjewellry do warty witches wear on their wrists?
Ans. Charm bracelets!

16. Why didn't the witch sing at the concert?
Ans. Because she had a frog in her throat!

17. What do you call a witch Who drives really badly?
Ans. A road hag!

18. What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
Ans. Run!

19. What happened to the naughtly little witch at school?
Ans. She was ex-spelled!

20. Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo?
Ans. One to get in and one to get out!

21. What sound does a witch make when she cries?
Ans. "Brew-hoo, Brew-hoo"!

22. Why should men beware of beautiful witches?
Ans. They'll sweep them off their feet!

23. Is it true that a witch won't hurt you if you run away from her?
Ans. It all depends on how fast you run!

24. How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
Ans. She holds the pan and gets 2 friends to make the stove shake with fright!

25. How do you make a witch float?
Ans. Blend two scoops of ice cream, and one witch!

26. What does a witch enjoy cooking most?
Ans. Gnomelettes!

27. When can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?
Ans. You can hear their brooms tick!

28. How do warty witches keep their hah" out of place?
Ans. With scare spray!

29. What do you call a pretty and friendly witch?
Ans. failure!

30. Why are witches fingernails never longer than 11 inches?
Ans. Because if they were 12 inches they'd be a foot!

31. What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the cinema?
Ans. Miss most of the film!

32. Why is a witches face like a million dollars?
Ans. It's all green and wrinkly!

33. What's evil and ugly and goes up and down all day?
Ans. A witch stuck in a elevator!

34. What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the water?
Ans. A chicken sandwitch!

35. Who went into a witche's den and came out alive?
Ans. The witch!

36. What do you call two witches who share a broom sticks?
Ans. Broom mates!

37. What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
Ans. To keep their hats pointed!

38. Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
Ans. That's the time to go to sweep!

39. What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
Ans. "I'd put a curse on you but it looks like someone beat me to it"!

40. Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
Ans. Ever tried broomstick pie?

41. What's the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick?
Ans. Don't fly off the handle!

42. What did the young witch say to her mother?
Ans. Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

43. Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
Ans. To keep their heads warm!

44. Why are black cats such good singers?
Ans. They're very mewsical!

45. When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
Ans. When your a mouse!

46. What do you get if you cross a witches cat with Father Christmas?
Ans. Santa Claws!

47. What do witches cats like for breakfast?
Ans. Mice krispies!

48. What do you get if you cross a witches cat with a canary?
Ans. A peeping torn!

49. What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick?
Ans. A catastrophe!

50. Why did the witch feed her cat with pennies?
Ans. She wanted to put some money in the kitty!

51. What did the black cat say to the fish?
Ans. I've got a bone to pick with you!

52. What do you call a witches cat that drinks vinegar?
Ans. A sour puss!

53. What do you call a witches cat with no legs?
Ans. Anything you like, she won't be able to chase you!

54. What do you get if you cross a witches cat and a canary?
Ans. A cat with a full tummy!

55. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
Ans. A lawn miaower!

56. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and goes round and round?
Ans. A black cat stuck in a clothes dryer!

57. What did the black cat do when its tail got cut off in an accident?
Ans. He went to a retail store!

58. What do witches cats strive for?
Ans. Purrfection!

59. What is a little witch's favorite subject in school?
Ans. Spelling!

60. Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime?
Ans. "Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares."

61. Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
Ans. Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.

62. Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Ans. Because he was in need of a light snack.

63. What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ans. Ghost-Toasties.

64. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Ans. Because everyone was a goblin!

65. Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?
Ans. NO, they eat the fingers separately.

66. What do you do with a green monster?
Ans. Wait until it ripens.

67. What is a monster's favorite food?
Ans. Ghoul scout cookies.

68. What's a monsters favorite bean?
Ans. A human bean.

69. How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Ans. Replace the nails with screws.

70. What type of monster really loves dance music?
Ans. The boogieman!

71. What is a monster's favorite food?
Ans. Ghoul scout cookies.

72. What position does a monster play on the soccer team?
Ans. Ghoulie.

73. What kind of hot dogs do monsters like best?
Ans. Hallowieners.

74. What's the name of the book of socially prominent monsters?
Ans. The Book of who's Boo.

75. Why are monsters forgetful?
Ans. Because everything goes in one ear and out the other.

76. Why did the monster knit herself three socks?
Ans. Because she grew another foot!

77. What is the difference between a huge smelly monster and a sweet ?
Ans. People like sweets!

78. What has a purple spotted body, ten hairy legs and big eyes on stalks?
Ans. I don't know either but there is one crawling up your leg!

79. What do you say when you meet a two headed monster?
Ans. Hello, hello!

80. What is the best way to speak to a monster?
Ans. From a long way away!

81. What is big, red and prickly, has three eyes and eats rocks?
Ans. A big, red, prickly three eyed rock eater!

82. What kind of monster has the best hearing?
Ans. The eeriest!

83. How you can tell if you have had a monster in your fridge?
Ans. It leaves footprints in the butter!

84. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
Ans. His ghoul friend.

85. Why are monsters covered in wrinkles?
Ans. Have you ever tried to iron a monster!

86. Why are monsters green?
Ans. Because they didn't take their travel sickness pills!

87. Why do monsters wear glasses?
Ans. So they don't bump into other monsters!

88. What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin?
Ans. Flatman and Ribbon!

89. What time is it when a monster sits on your car?
Ans. Time to get a new one!

90. What game do monsters play with ants?
Ans. Squash!

91. Did you hear about the monster who had eight arms?
Ans. He said they came in handy!

92. How do you keep an ugly monster in suspense?
Ans. I'll tell you tomorrow!

93. How do you greet a three headed monster?
Ans. Hello, hello, hello!

94. What is a sea monster's favourite dish?
Ans. Fish and ships!

95. Monster: Where do fleas go in winter?
Ans. Werewolf: Search me!

96. Why are monsters forgetful?
Ans. Because everything goes in one ear and out the others!

97. Why did the monster knit herself three socks?
Ans. Because she grew another foot!

98. What is the difference between a huge smelly monster and a sweet?
Ans. People like sweets!

99. What has a purple spotted body, ten hairy legs and big eyes on stalks?
Ans. I don't know either but there is one crawling up your leg!

100. What's a monster's favorite play?
Ans. Romeo and Ghouliet.