1. What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
Ans. A boo-tie.

2. What's a ghosts favorite desert?
Ans. Boo-berry pie.

3. Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
Ans. So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

4. When does a ghost have breakfast?
Ans. In the moaning.

5. What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Ans. Coffee with scream and sugar.

6. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Ans. Mali-boo.

7. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Ans. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

8. What do they teach in witching school?
Ans. Spelling.

9. Why does a witch ride a broom?
Ans. Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

10. What do you call a witch's garage?
Ans. A broom closet.

11. What do you call two witches living together?
Ans. Broommates.

12. Why don't mummies take vacations?
Ans. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

13. Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
Ans. It had no guts...

14. How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Ans. With scare spray...

15. What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
Ans. Ouch...

16. How do monsters tell their future?
Ans. They read their horrorscope...

17. What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
Ans. A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

18. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
Ans. No, they eat the fingers separately...

19. Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Ans. Because they don't have any body to go out with... 20. What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Ans. Boobemes...

21. What do zombies like to eat at a cook out?
Ans. Halloweenies...

22. What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Ans. Casketball...

23. What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Ans. Fangsgiving...

24. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
Ans. To improve his bite...

25. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Ans. Frostbite...

26. What do witches use on their hair?
Ans. Scare spray.

27. What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
Ans. His other fang.

28. What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Ans. Twick or Tweet.

29. What did the little ghost have in his rock collection*?
Ans. Tombstones.

30. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
Ans. It's good for the bones.

31. What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?

Ans. White Pillowcases.

32. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Ans. Squash.

33. Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
Ans. Their bats flew away.

34. What was the witches favorite subject in school?
Ans. Spelling.

35. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
Ans. Because he was coffin.

36. What does a vampire fear most?
Ans. Tooth decay.

37. Where did the vampire open his savings account?
Ans. At a blood bank.

38. What did the mad scientist eat on Halloween?
Ans. Frankenfurters with Ketchup.

39. Where do mummies go for a swim?
Ans. To the dead sea.

40. What is Transylvania?
Ans. Dracula's terror-tory.

41. Where does dracula water ski?
Ans. On Lake Erie.

42. What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
Ans. A blood vessel.

43. What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantem by it s circumference?
Ans. Pumpkin Pi.

44. Why are there fences around cemetaries?
Ans. Because people are dying to get in.

45. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. He didn't have the guts.

46. What does a ghost eat for lunch?
Ans. A BOO-logna sandwich.

47. How does the silly witch know what time it is?
Ans. She looks at her witch-watch.

48. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Ans. Don't spook until your spooken to.

49. What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
Ans. An amoeboo!

50. How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
Ans. By blood vessels.

51. Who does a zombie share an apartment with?
Ans. A tombmate.

52. Why don't zombies pay their bills?
Ans. They're deadbeats.

53. Why do owls get invited to so many parties?
Ans. They're a hoot to have around.

54. Why are bunnies fun to have at parties?
Ans. They hop till they drop.

55. What's the difference between a generous host and a nasty snob?
Ans. One puts people up and the other puts people down.

56. What's an amoeba's favorite game?
Ans. Divide and seek.

57. What animals make the best poker players?
Ans. Bluffalos.

58. What happened to the zombie who stayed up all night at work the next day?
Ans. He was dead on his feet.

59. What do English country gentlemen do on a Saturday night?
Ans. Squire Dancing.

60. What do insect ballarinas dance on?
Ans. Mosqui-toes.

61. What kind of music do trolls dance to?
Ans. Rock and Troll.

62. What kind of music do welders dance to?
Ans. Heavy Metal.

63. What kind of music won't balloons dance to?
Ans. Pop Music.

64. How do garbage collectors break up with their girlfriends?
Ans. They dump them.

65. How do mountain climbers break up with their boyfriends?
Ans. They cut the ties.

66. How do parachutists break up with their girlfriends?
Ans. They drop them.

67. How do amoebas break up with each other?
Ans. They split.

68. How do sailors break up with their girlfriends?
Ans. They drift apart.

69. What large stones are used to make costume jewelry?
Ans. Rhino-stones.

70. Who is the most musical deer?
Ans. Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Doe.

71. What do you get when you tear a songbook?
Ans. Rip Music.

72. What is a motto for panty hose?
Ans. Born to run.

73. Why did the little stegosaurus stay home from school?
Ans. He had a dino-sore throat.

74. What do baby architects play with?
Ans. City Blocks.

75. What's harder than cutting school?
Ans. Gluing it back together.

76. Who trains court jesters?
Ans. Fool Teachers.

77. What grades did the wasp get in school?
Ans. It had a bee average.

78. What did the bee major in at college?
Ans. Buzziness.

79. What kind of college do plants attend?
Ans. Ivy League.

80. How do musicians study for tests?
Ans. They review their notes.

81. What English course do mummies take in school?
Ans. De-composition.

82. What would you get if you crossed the big dipper with a zebra?
Ans. Stars and Stripes.

83. Was Ben Franklin surprised when he discovered electricity?
Ans. No he was shocked.

84. How is an actor like a football player?
Ans. They both perform plays.

85. What is a hurricane's favorite game show?
Ans. Wind Lose or Draw.

86. Why did Walt Disney go to a mechanic?
Ans. For a car-toon up.

87. How do circus dogs fly through the air?
Ans. With the greatest of fleas.

88. What do animal trainers have when they are too nervous to work?
Ans. Cage Fright.

89. What band can't play music?
Ans. Rubber Band.

90. What would you get if you crossed a portable radio and a stick of dynamite?
Ans. A Boom Box.

91. What would you get if you crossed Miss Piggy with a conceited singer?
Ans. A little piggy that sings me me me all the way home.

92. What would you get if you crossed a comedian with a boxer?
Ans. A comic who knocks you out with his punch line.

93. How do comedians measure their speed?
Ans. In smiles per hour.

94. Where do comedians go when they retire?
Ans. To the old jokes home.

95. What's the difference between a surfer and a beauty queen on parade?
Ans. One floats on the top of a wave and the other waves from the top of a float.

96. Who did Charlie the Tuna take to the movies?
Ans. His gillfriend.

97. What movies do two headed monsters star in?
Ans. Double Creature Features.

98. Who did the tornado take to the movies?
Ans. His whirlfriend.

99. What's the difference between constelations and Hollywood?
Ans. Nothing they are both stars that make pictures.

100. What do you call a grouchy father?
Ans. Pop Tart.