1. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
Ans. They're afraid of flying off the handle!

2. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
Ans. No body.

3. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Ans. Bone appetit!

4. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Ans. Dayscare centers.

5. Who did Frankenstein take to me prom?
Ans. His ghoul friend.

6. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Ans. Benjamin Frankenstein.

7. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ans. Ice Scream.

8. What's a monster's favorite play?
Ans. Romeo and Ghouliet.

9. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Ans. Bamboo.

10. What's a haunted chicken?
Ans. A poultry-geist.

11. How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?
Ans. He has a big D on his pajamas.

12. What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?
Ans. Grandma monster.

13. Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Ans. Because he was in need of a light snack.

14. Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
Ans. Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

15. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Ans. Boo boos.

16. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Ans. Because of his coffin.

17. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
Ans. They're good at keeping things under wraps.

18. What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ans. Ghost-Toasties.

19. What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
Ans. A wash and wear wolf.

20. What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
Ans. They boo-kle their seatbelts.

21. What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Ans. Count Duckula.

22. What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
Ans. A cereal killer.

23. Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Ans. because it they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

24. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party*?
Ans. Because everyone was a goblin!

25. How did the ghost patch his sheet?
Ans. With a pumpkin patch.

26. What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
Ans. A boo boo...

27. Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Ans. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

28. What is Dracula's favorite kind of coffee?
Ans. Decoffmated...

29. What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Ans. Shrinkenstein...

30. What is a baby ghost's favorite game?
Ans. Peekaboo...

31. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Ans. "Do you believe in people?"

32. What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
Ans. A cereal killer...

33. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
Ans. They're too wrapped up in themselves.

34. What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Ans. Dead ends...

35. What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Ans. Fasten your sheet belts...

36. What do ghouls eat for breakfast?
Ans. Ghost toasties with evaporated milk.

37.What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
Ans. A blood vessel...

38. What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
Ans. A scareplane...

39. What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Ans. Bloodhounds...

40. What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Ans. Lemon-shme...

41. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
Ans. A stake sandwich...

42. What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
Ans. A trombone...

43. What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Ans. Tweets...

44. Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Ans. They have bat breath...

45. What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
Ans. A guy with very high blood pressure...

46. Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
Ans. He heard it had great circulation...

47. Why did the dyslexic vampire starve to death?
Ans. He couldn't find any dioob...

48. Did you hear about the cannibal boy that was 8 before he was 7?
Ans. he was gone before his time...

49. Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
Ans. He was buttering up his teacher...

50. What does a cannibal get when he comes home late for dinner?
Ans. The cold shoulder...

51. What do you get when you goose a ghost?
Ans. A handful of sheet...

52. What kind of car does a ghost drive?
Ans. A Boo-ick...

53. What did the mother ghost say to her son?
Ans. Don't spook unless you are spooken to...

54. What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Ans. Sham-boo...

55. Why did the ghost pick his nose?
Ans. Because he had boogers...

56. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Ans. Boojeans...

57. Why wasn't the vampire working?
Ans. He was on a coffinbreak..

58. What do skeletons say before eating?
Ans. Bone Appetit...

59. What does a child monster call his parents?
Ans. Mummy and Deady...

60. Where do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets?
Ans. At bootiques...

61. What ride do spirits like best at the amusement park?
Ans. The roller ghoster...

62. What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
Ans. Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot...

63. What fairy tale do ghosts like best?
Ans. Sleeping booty...

64. What kind of spirits serve food on a plane?
Ans. Airline ghostesses...

65. What kinds of ghosts haunt skyscrapers?
Ans. High spirits...

66. Why did the skeleton climb a tree?
Ans. Because a dog was after its bones...

67. How do you make a witch scratch?
Ans. Just take away the W...

68. Where do ghosts go swimming?
Ans. The dead sea...

69. Why was the witch's cat giggling?
Ans. Because it was a giggle puss...

70. What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Ans. Hope it's Halloween...

71. What do you call a skeleton stone age family?
Ans. The Flintbones...

72. What did the witch say to the midget vampire skeleton?
Ans. Bony little bloodsucker, aren't you?..

73. What's the difference between a fisherman and a sick ghost?
Ans. One catches his dinner, the other one loses it...

74. Did you hear about the new Dracula doll?
Ans. Wind it up and it bites Barbie on the neck...

75. What did the t.v. news reporter say to the ghost?
Ans. Everyone dead! Boos at II...

76. What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Ans. Boo-ties!

77. What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
Ans. Tombstones.

78. What do ghosts mail home while on vacation?
Ans. Ghostcards.

79. What do ghosts do when they're in hospital?
Ans. They talk about their apparitions!

80. What's the 1st thing ghosts do when they get in a car?
Ans. They boo-kle their seatbelts

81. Mommy, why do all the other Kids call me a Werewolf?
Ans. Stop talking and brush your face!

82. What gift did the werewolf parents give to their son?
Ans. A comb!

83. What happened when the wolf fell in the washing machine?
Ans. He became a wash and werewolf!

84. What happened to the werewlf who ate garlic?
Ans. His bark was worse than his bite!

5. Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
Ans. The whatwolves and whenwolves!

86. Where does the werewolf sit in the cinema?
Ans. Anywhere he wants to!

87. What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a frog?
Ans. A creature that can bite you from the other side of the road!

88. How do you know if a werewolf s been in the fridge?
Ans. The paw prints in the butter!

89. How do you know if two werewolves have been in the fridge?
Ans. Two pairs of paw prints in the butter!

90. What does it mean if you find a werewolf in the fridge in the morning?
Ans. You had some party the night before!

91. How do you stop a werewolf chasing you?
Ans. Throw a stick and say fetch!

92. What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
Ans. A creature with an all over perm!

93. What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
Ans. He got ticks!

94. Why shouldn't you grab a werewolf by it*s tail?
Ans. It might be the werewolf s tail but it could be the end of you!

95. Why are werewolvse thought of as quick witted?
Ans. Because they always give snappy answers!

96. Why did the parents call their child "Camera"?
Ans. Because they were always snapping!

97. What do you call a hairy beast with clothes on?
Ans. A wear-wolf!

98. What do you call a hairy beast that is lost?
Ans. A where-wolf!

99. What happens if you cross a werewolf and a sheep?
Ans. You have to get a new sheep!

100. What is fearsome, hairy and drinks from the wrong side of a glass?
Ans. A werewolf with hiccups!