1. Why is the sun able to stay up in the sky?
Ans. Because it has so many beams.

2. What bus crossed the ocean?
Ans. Columbus.

3. Why do small children take a lot of trips?
Ans. They can't tie their shoes.

4. What did one knife say to the other knife?
Ans. Youre looking sharp today.

5. What did the rug say to the floor?
Ans. I've got you covered.

6. What is always behind the time?
Ans. The back of a clock.

7. What animal can jump higher than a house?
Ans. Any animal, a house can't jump.

8. What instrument does a skeleton play.
Ans. The trombone.

9. What did the bird say when his cage broke?
Ans. Cheap cheap.

10. How do fishermen decide which fish to catch?
Ans. They take a pole.

11. What do librarians use for bait when they go fishing?
Ans. A bookworm.

12. What happens if you don't pay your exorcist?
Ans. You get repossessed.

13. What do you call a lion tamer who sticks her right arm down a lion's throat?
Ans. Lefty.

14. What were Tarzan's last words?
Ans. Who greased the vine.

15. Where do puppies who don't have houses live?
Ans. Apupments.

16. In what school do you learn to greet people?
Ans. Hischool.

17. Why couldn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Ans. He had no body to go with.

18. Why was the pig named Ink?
Ans. He always ran out of the pen.

19. What did Ben Franklin say when he discovered electricity?
Ans. Nothing he was shocked.

20. Why did the turtle cross the road?
Ans. To get to the shell station.

21. Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
Ans. She wanted to make up her mind.

22. Do you like raisin bread?
Ans. Can't say never raised any.

23. What do outlaws eat with their milk?
Ans. Crookies.

24. Why did the man throw the clock?
Ans. He wanted to see time fly.

25. Where does a sheep get his hair cut?
Ans. At the baa baa shop.

26. Who is the only many you always take your hat off for?
Ans. The barber.

27.Did you hear about the Texas cowboy?
Ans. He bought a Dachshound because someone told him to get a long little doggy.

28. What would you do if an elephant sat down in fromt of you at the movies?
Ans. Miss most of it.

29. Why did the man wear a winter coat to the ball game?
Ans. He heard there would be thousands of fans.

30. What did the rabbit give his wife?
Ans. A fourteen carrot gold ring.

31. What is the biggest pencil in the world?
Ans. Pennsylvania.

32. What did the man say to the invisible elephant?
Ans. You're out of sight.

33. What is the difference between zombies and darned socks?
Ans. One is dead men and the other is men-ded.

34. Why is a bad riddle like a poor pencil?
Ans. Neither has a point.

35. Why didn't the boy hurt himself when he fell off a step ladder?
Ans. He only fell from the first step.

36. What do you get when you cross an alarm clock and a porcupine?
Ans. A stickler for punctuality.

37. What do you get when you cross an army man and a parrot?
Ans. A parrot-trooper.

38. Why did the dragon breathe fire on the village?
Ans. He wanted to be the toast of the town.

39. What's the hardest thing to do when a dragon breathes fire on you?
Ans. Keep cool.

40. How do you cut the ocean in half?
Ans. With a sea-saw.

41. How many seconds are in a year?
Ans. 12: Jan 2nd, Freb 2nd etc.

42. Why do the mad scientist put an elastic band around his forehead?
Ans. So he could stretch his imagination.

43. Why aren't elephants allowed on beaches?
Ans. They can't keep their trunks up.

44. What do you get when you cross a boy scout and a baseball player?
Ans. Someone who likes to pitch tents.

45. Why is a cold calendar as sad as a warm calendar?
Ans. Their days are numbered.

46. What did the farmer say when he went to check his cattle and found them gone?
Ans. Where's the beef?

47. What did the donkey say to the man?
Ans. You'll get a kick out of me.

48. Did the people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?
Ans. No but the ice cracked up.

49. What kind of phone makes music?
Ans. Saxophone

50. What do cows give after an earthquake?
Ans. Milk shakes.

51. What do you get when you cross a bell and an outlaw?
Ans. A gongster.

52. What is a monster's favorite necklace?
Ans. A choker.

53. What part of a cowboy's outfit is the saddist?
Ans. The blue jeans.

54. What game do monster children play?
Ans. Hyde and sick.

55. Why did the boy fall asleep on the wood pile?
Ans. He wanted to sleep like a log.

56. Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
Ans. He couldn't find a date.

57. What do you call a frozen policeman?
Ans. Copsickle.

58. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Ans. Boo boos.

59. Why did the girl eat bullets?
Ans. She wanted to grow bangs.

60. What do you get when you cross an onion and a potato?
Ans. A potato with watery eyes.

61. Why did the girl's father call her Cinderella?
Ans. He wanted her home by midnight.

62. What is a monster's favorite team?
Ans. The Giants.

63. What American father has the largest family?
Ans. George Washington the father of our country.

64. Did you hear about the fight in the candy store?
Ans. Two suckers got licked.

65. Why does a cow wear a bell?
Ans. His horns don't work.

66. What has an arm but can't raise it?
Ans. A chair.

67. Who belongs to the monster PTA?
Ans. Mummies and deadies.

68. What was the football coach looking for in space?
Ans. An All Star Team.

69. What does a computer call its mother and father?
Ans. Mama and Data.

70. What travels faster, heat or cold?
Ans. Heat, you can catch cold.

71. Why did grandma put roller skates on her rocking chair?
Ans. She wanted to rock and roll.

72. Why didn't the scientist allow the sick eagle into his laboratory?
Ans. It was illegal.

73. What is a werewolf's favorite tune?
Ans. By the Light Of the Silvery Moon.

74. What do you get when you put butter on your bed?
Ans. A bed-spread.

75. What kind of dots dance?
Ans. Polka Dots.

76. Why did the cowboy put a whistle in his hat?
Abs, He wanted to blow his top.

77. Why did the strawberry cry?
Ans. Its mother was in a jam.

78. What eats everything in sight but doesn't drink?
Ans. Fire.

79. Do rabbits use combs?
Ans. No, they use hare brushes.

80. Who pulled the biggest holdup in history?
Ans. Atlas, he held up the world.

81. What do you call an outlaw armed with four louded revolvers?
Ans. Sir.

82. What kind of fur do you get from outlaws?
Ans. As fur as you can.

83. What is the tallest building in the world?
Ans. The library, it has the most stories.

84. If two is company, three is a crowd, what is four and five?
Ans. Nine.

85. What did the potato say to the farmer?
Ans. I've got my eye on you.

86. How do cowboys watch tv when they are out on the range?
Ans. By saddle-lite.

87. What is black and yellow and goes zub?
Ans. A bee flying backwards.

88. Why are dentists so sad?
Ans. They're always looking down in the mouth.

89. Why don't ghosts like to go out in the rain?
Ans. It dampens their spirits.

90. What do you get if you cross a vampire with an Egyptian mummy?
Ans. A flying band-aid.

91. What did the dog say when he sat on sand?
Ans. Rough.

92. What was Billy The Kid's favorite subject in school?
Ans. Triggernometry.

93. If a chicken crossed the road, rolls in dust and then crosses back what is he?
Ans. A dirty double crosser.

94. Who robbed stagecoaches wearing dirty clothes?
Ans. Messy James.

95. What did the ocean say to the shore?
Ans. Nothing it waved.

96. What is a duck's favorite food?
Ans. Quackers.

97. Why do spiders make good baseball players?
Ans. They can catch flies.

98. What kind of witch lives in the desert?
Ans. A sandwhich.

99. What does a train do when an outlaw chases it?
Ans. Makes tracks.

100. What did the fork say to the spoon?
Ans. Nothing forks can't talk.