1. How do you make a slow horse fast?
Ans. Quit feeding him.

2. What bird helps us eat?
Ans. The swallow.

3. What swimmer could jump in the water and not get his hair wet?
Ans. A bald headed man.

4. Where should a dressmaker build her house?
Ans. On the outskirts of the city.

5. What kind of dog has no tail?
Ans. A hot dog.

6. Why do children have to go to school?
Ans. The school won't come to them.

7. What is too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?
Ans. A secret.

8. Where does Friday come before Thursday?
Ans. In the dictionary.

9. Why isn't it safe to keep a clock at the top of the stairs?
Ans. It might run down and strike one.

10. Why is the letter d like a wedding ring?
Ans. We could not have wed without it.

11. Why is it wrong to whisper?
Ans. It is not aloud (allowed).

12. Why is the letter d like a sailer?
Ans. It follows the sea (c).

13. What pine has the longest and sharpest needles?
Ans. The porcupine.

14. What only works after it has been fired?
Ans. A rocket.

15. What is the biggest laundry problem on Saturn?
Ans. Ring around the collar.

16. What is the difference between here and there?
Ans. The letter t.

17. Who invented the first ship that didn't fly?
Ans. Orville and Wilbur Wrong.

18. What's the difference between a small spaceship and a gigantic fly?
Ans. About 10,000 pounds.

19. What keeps the moon from falling down?
Ans. The beams.

20. If the alien breathes oxygen in the daytime what would he breathe at night?
Ans. Nightrogen.

21. What is everyone in the whole world doing ar the same time?
Ans. Growing old.

22. What do you get if you cross a foot and a rocket?
Ans. Missile toe.

23. What happens when a flock of geese land in a volcano?
Ans. They cook their own goose.

24. What's the difference between a bus driver and a bad cold?
Ans. One knows the stops and the other stops the nose.

25. What steps would you take if you were on a safari and a lion chased you?
Ans. The longest ones possible.

26. If you throw a pebble into the Black Sea what would it become?
Ans. Wet.

27. What kind of ears does an engine have?
Ans. Engineers.

28. Who goes under water and over water but never touches it?
Ans. A woman crossing a bridge with a pail of water on her head.

29. What does a hen do when she stands on one leg?
Ans. Lifts the other one.

30. What is the most disagreeable month for soldiers?
Ans. A long March.

31. What has four legs but only one foot?
Ans. A bed.

32. What did the prisoners say when the jail flooded?
Ans. Somebody bail us out.

33. How is Ducktape like the Force?
Ans. It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.

34. What do Whipids say when they kiss?
Ans. Ouch.

35. Why does Leia wear buns on her head?
Ans. In case she gets hungry in a Senate meeting.

36. Why did the Stormtrooper start jumping up and down?
Ans. He stepped on Ant-hillies.

37. What do Star Destroyers wear to parties?
Ans. A bow TIE.

38. Why did the crazy Angrallian Toobir cross the nebula?
Ans. To get to the other dementia.

39. Why did the smuggler cross the spacelanes?
Ans. To get to the other side.

40. What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
Ans. One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.

41. How many Sith does it take to screw in a hyperdrive?
Ans. Two, but I don't know how they got in it.

42. How many stormtroopers does it take to replace a lightbulb?
Ans. Two; one to screw the bulb in, the other to shoot him and take the credit.

43. What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
Ans, An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.

44. Why did Yoda cross the road?
Ans. Because the chickens Forced him to.

45. What side of an Ewok has the most hair?
Ans. The outside.

46. Who tries to be a Jedi?
Ans. Obi-Wannabe

47. Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?
Ans, It was dead.

48. Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
Ans. The ship might crack up.

49. What happens when a red and white X-Wing crashes into green water?
Ans. It gets wet.

50. Why do Twi'leks like to flip coins?
Ans. So that they can say, "Heads or tails!"

51. As a Disney character what song would Vader sing?
Ans. "When You Wish Upon A Death Star".

52. What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer?
Ans. Time to get a new chronometer.

53, Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
Ans. Darth Waiter

54. Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
Ans. Because he's always making new friends.

55. What do Jawa's have that no other creature in the galaxy has?
Ans. Baby Jawas.

56. What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
Ans. The appetizer.

57. Why do vornksrs stop slowly?
Ans. They're afraid of whiplash.

58. Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
Ans. Because a Jedi must have patience.

59. What's the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?
Ans. The Ackbar.

60. How would a fat Rogue get into his X-wing?
Ans. Through the opening.

61. What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
Ans. Chewie!

62. How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?
Ans. None, if the room's dark, then you can't see them cheat at sabacc.

63. What do Ithorians put things in?
Ans. Jar Jars.

64. Why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?
Ans. Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.

65. What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?
Ans. Do well, you will do!

66. Why is the letter A like a flower?
Ans. A bee follows it.

67. What two animals go everywhere you go?
Ans. Your calves.

68. How do they put out a fire in the post office?
Ans. They stamp it out.

69. Why did the boy take a hammer to bed?
Ans. He wanted to hit the hay.

70. What follows you all day but leaves you at night?
Ans. Your shadow.

71. Why do gardeners hate weeds?
Ans. If you give them an inch they'll take a yard.

72. Where do horses go on their honeymoons?
Ans. Niagara Stalls

73. What does a farmer grow when he works very hard?
Ans. Tired.

74. A dog was tied to a 10 foot rope but walked 30 feet so how did that happen?
Ans. The rope wasn't tied to anything but the dog.

75. Why do people hate it when pigs drive cars down the highway?
Ans. They are roadhogs.

76. What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
Ans. One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

77. Why did the Easter egg hide?
Ans. He was a little chicken!

78. Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered?
Ans. Because he was eggo-centric!

79. Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
Ans. It has four rabbits' feet

80. What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?
Ans. A bunion

81. What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
Ans. Join the Hare Force.

82. What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
Ans. Egghead!

83. What does a bunny use when it goes swimming?
Ans. A hare-net.

84. How do you make a rabbit stew?
Ans. Make it wait for three hours!

85. What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit?
Ans. Cheer up!

86. What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Ans. A hot cross bunny.

87. How do you post a bunny?
Ans. Hare mail

88. How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter?
Ans. Hoppy Easter

88. How do bunnies stay healthy?
Ans. Eggercise

89. What do you get when you cross a chicken and the Easter Bunny?
Ans. A good Easter.

90. What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
Ans. Hoppy Easter!

91. "Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
Ans. "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"

92. What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair?
Ans. A hairless hare!

93. Why are people always tired in April?
Ans. Because they just finished a march

94. Why did the Easter egg hide?
Ans. He was a little chicken!

95. What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
Ans. A slam duck.

96. What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
Ans. An egghead.

97. What grows between your nose and chin?
Ans. Tulips (Two Lips).

98. What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket?
Ans. Coloured scrambled eggs!

99. Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Ans. Because it was the chicken's day off.

100. What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his pants?
Ans. A smarty pants.