1. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
Ans. No body.

2. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Ans. Bone appetit!

3. When does a skeleton laugh?
Ans. When something tickles his funny bone.

4. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
Ans. It had no body to dance with.

5. What type of art do skeletons like?
Ans. Skull tares.

6. What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
Ans. You can't fool me, I can see right through you.

7. What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
Ans. I'm bone to be wild!

8. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
Ans. He had no body to dance with.

9. What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
Ans. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

10. Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
Ans. Sherlock Bones.

11. Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Ans. Napoleon bone-apart.

12. What instrument do skeletons play?
Ans. Trom-BONE.

13. What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Ans. Spare ribs!!!

14. When does a skeleton laugh?
Ans. When something tickles his funny bone.

15. Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?
Ans. Because he didn't have the stomach for it!

16. Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
Ans. He didn't have the guts.

17. Why are skeletons usually so calm?
Ans. Nothing gets under their skin!

18. Why do skeletons hate winter?
Ans. Beacuse the cold goes right through them!

19. Why are graveyards so noisy?
Ans. Beacause of all the coffin!
BR> 20. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Ans. He had no body to go with!

2l. Why are skeltons always happy when they are walking around?
Ans. They had a rattling good time!

22. Why did the skeleton go to hospital?
Ans. To have his ghoul stones removed!

23. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Ans. He could feel it in his bones!

24. What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument?
Ans. A trom-bone!

25. How do skeletons call their friends?
Ans. On the telebone!

26. What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the mornings?
Ans. Lazy bones!

27. What do boney people use to get into their homes?
Ans. Skeleton keys!

28. What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns?
Ans. Skint Eastwood!

29. What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish?
Ans. It came back with a skeleton crew!

30. What do you call a skeleton snake?
Ans. A rattler!

31. What is a skeletons like to drink milk?
Ans. Milk - it's so good for the bones!

32. Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night?
Ans. He was a numbskull!

33. What do you call a stupid skeleton?
Ans. Bonehead!

34. What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long?
Ans. He became bone dry!

35. What happened to the lazy skeleton?
Ans. He was bone idle!

36. Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school?
Ans. He was boning up for his exams!
37. What sort of soup do skeletons like?
Ans. One with plenty of body in it!

38. Why did the skeleton run up a tree?
Ans. Because a dog was after his bones!
39. What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
Ans. I love every bone in your body!

40. Why wasn't the naughty skeleton afraid of the police?
Ans. Because he knew they couldn't pin anything on him!

41. How do skeletons get their mail?
Ans. By bony express!

42. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
Ans. They have no organs!

43. What kind of plate does a skeleton eat off?
Ans. Bone china.

44. Why do skeletons hate winter?
Ans. Because the wind Just goes straight through them!

45. What's a skeleton's favourite pop group?
Ans. Boney M!

46. What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road?
Ans. Jump out of your skin and join him!

47. What did the old skeleton complain of?
Ans. Aching bones!

48. What is a skeleton?
Ans. Somebody on a diet who forgot to say "when"!

49. What happened to the skeleton that was attacked by a dog?
Ans. He ran off with some bones and didn't leave him with a leg to stand on!

50. Why are skeletons so calm?
Ans. Because nothing gets under their skin!

51. What did one ghost say to another?
Ans. Do you believe in people?

52. What did one ghost say to another?
Ans. Do you believe in people?

53. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Ans. Spook-ghetti.

54. What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?
Ans. Boojeans.

55. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Ans. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

56. What time is it when a ghost haunts your house?
Ans. Time to move to a new house!

57. What's a ghosts favorite desert?
Ans. Boo-berry pie & I scream.

58. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
Ans. Whipped scream.

59. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
Ans. Put your boos and shocks on!

60. Why are ghosts cowards?
Ans. Because they've got no guts!

61. What story do little ghosts like to hear at bedtime?
Ans. Ghoul delocks & the 3 scares.

62. What is a ghost's favorite party game?
Ans. Hide-and-go-shriek.

63. What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
Ans. Ghoul.

64. Why did the ghost rush home from school?
Ans. To watch an after-ghoul special on TV.

65. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, poodle, & a ghost?
Ans. A cocker-poodle-boo!

66. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
Ans. He is mist.

67. Who protects the shores where spirits live?
Ans. The Ghost Guard!

68. What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
Ans. You look boo-tiful tonight.

69. Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
Ans. So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

70. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
Ans. He didn't have a haunting license.

71. What did one ghost say to the other when they fell down?
Ans. I got a booo booo.

72. What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
Ans. A boo-tie.

73. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Ans. mas-scare-a.

74. Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?
Ans. Because demons are a ghosts best friend.

75. Who did the ghost go with to the Halloween party?
Ans. With No-Body!

76. Where do most werewolves live?
Ans. In howllywood, California.

77. Where do most goblins live?
Ans. in North and South Scarolina.

78. Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
Ans. At a ghastly station.

79. What do you call a little monsters parents.
Ans. Mummy and deady.

80. What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
Ans. Sour-puss.

81. How do you scare a mummy?
Ans. With a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.

82. Why do ghosts shiver and moan?
Ans. It's drafty under that sheet.

83. What instrument do skellitens play?
Ans. Trom-BONE.

84. Why do vampires scare people?
Ans. They are bored to death!

85. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Ans. Every night he turns into a bat.

86. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
Ans. It's a pain in the neck.

87. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
Ans. All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

88. What song does Dracula hate?
Ans. "You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders.

89. How does a girl vampire flirt?
Ans. She bats her eyes.

90. What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
Ans. A grave problem.

91. Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
Ans. He has a bat temper.

92. Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
Ans. He had a fang-ache.

93. Why are vampires like false teeth?
Ans. They all come out at night.

94. Who does Dracula get letters from?
Ans. His fang club.

95. Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
Ans. To stop his coffin.

96. Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
Ans. Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.

97. How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Ans. Give him screws.

98. What can't you give the headless horseman?
Ans. A headache.

99. Why did the headless horseman go into business?
Ans. He wanted to get ahead in life.

100. What is a ghosts favorite sale?
Ans. A white sale.