1. Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
Ans. Darth Waiter

2. Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
Ans. Because he's always making new friends.

3. What do Jawa's have that no other creature in the galaxy has?
Ans. Baby Jawas.

4. What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
Ans. The appetizer.

5. Why do vornksrs stop slowly?
Ans. They're afraid of whiplash.

6. Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
Ans. Because a Jedi must have patience.

7. What's the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?
Ans. The Ackbar.

8. How would a fat Rogue get into his X-wing?
Ans. He'd Wedge himself in.

9. What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
Ans. Chewie!

10. How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?
Ans. None, if the room's dark, then you can't see them cheat at sabacc.

11. What do Ithorians put things in?
Ans. Jar Jars.

12. Why didn't Luke Skywalker cross the road?
Ans. Because he got a ticket for Skywalking.

13. What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?
Ans. Do well, you will do!

14. Name the four seasons.
Ans. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

15. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
Ans. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

16. How is dew formed?
Ans. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

17. What is a planet?
Ans. A body of earth surrounded by sky.

18. What causes the tides in the oceans?
Ans. The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.

19. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
Ans. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
20. What are steroids?
Ans. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

21. What happens to your body as you age?
Ans. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

22. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
Ans. He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

23. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
Ans. Premature death.

24. How can you delay milk turning sour?
Ans. Keep it in the cow.

25. How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
Ans. The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

26. What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
Ans. Patty O'Furniture

27. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
Ans. Sham rock

28. Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?
Ans. Because they are always wearing green

29. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
Ans. When it's a French fry

30. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
Ans. Some poor horse is going barefoot

31. Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones?
Ans. His red ones were in the wash

32. Why is a river rich?
Ans. Because it has two banks

33. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
Ans. A jolly green giant

34. What is Barney's favorite thing on St. Patricks day?
Ans. A Blarney Stone

35. What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
Ans. A Sham Rock

36. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
Ans. He couldn't afford plane fare.

37. Have you ever heard of the 6-leaf clover?
Ans. Neither have I

38. Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?
Ans. They need all the luck they can get

39. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
Ans. He gets wet.

40. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Ans. Sure now, but them regular rocks be way to heavy, don't you know.

41. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
Ans. A leper con

42. What do you say to a leprechaun?
Ans. How's the weather down there.

43. What is a nuahcerpel?
Ans. Leprechaun spelled backwards

44. Why is Erin, the beanie baby's birthday on St.Patrick's day?
Ans. Because that is when she was born

45. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
Ans. He wanted to find the pot of gold faster 46. Why did the man cross the road?
Ans. A leprechaun chasing rainbows was on the other side.

47. What did one Irish ghost say to the other?
Ans. Top o' the moaning!"

48. Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
Ans. In the Little League!

49. What do you call a leprechaun's vacation home?
Ans. A lepre-condo!

50. What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat?
Ans. A streprechaun!

51 What did St. Patrick say to the snakes?
Ans. He told them to "hiss off"

52. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
Ans. When it's a French fry

53. Why did the elephant wear his green sneakers instead of his red ones?
Ans. His red ones were in the wash

54. What do elves learn in school?
Ans. The elf-abet!

55. What would you get if you crossed a stupid boy with a well known Irish ballad?
Ans. "O Dummy Boy"!

56. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a bathroom?
Ans. A lepre john!

57. What's little and green and goes two hundred miles per hour?
Ans. A leprechaun in a blender!

58. Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height?
Ans. Yeah, but only a little!

59. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
Ans. Because they're very short-tempered!

60. What's an Irishman who keeps bouncing off walls called?
Ans. Rick O'Shea.

61. What do you need to shoot to win a professional golf tournament?
Ans. Tiger Woods.

62. How can you tell if a ghost is lying?
Ans. You can see right through him.

63. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Ans. Spoiled milk.

64. What is more blessed to give than to receive?
Ans. Advice.

65. Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
Ans.You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

66. After years of training, What job did the blonde land at the M&M factory?
Ans. Proofreader.

67. Why did the blonde lose her job as proofreader at the M&M factory?
Ans. She kept throwing away the candies with "W" on them.

68, What do you get when you cross a Unitarian Universalist with a Jehovah's Witness?
Ans. Somebody who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

69. How Did The Woman Try To Kill The Bird?
Ans. She Threw It Off A Cliff.

70. What Bird Flies Faster Than Seventy-Four Miles Per Hour?
Ans. A Hurri-Crane.

71. What Bird Has No Wings?
Ans. A Tomahawk.

72. What Bird Is The Most Contented?
Ans. The Crow. He Never Complains Without Caws.

73. What Bird Never Goes To A Barber?
Ans. A Bald Eagle.

74. What Did The Bird Wear To The Beach?
Ans. A Beak-Ini!

75. What Do You Call An Endangered Bird Who's Also A Lawyer?
Ans. A Legal Eagle.

76. What Do You Call A Bird After It's Been Run Over By A Lawn Mower?
Ans. Shredded Tweet!

77. What Do You Call A Bird In The Freezer?
Ans. A Birrrrrrd!

78. What Do You Call A Short Black Bird?
Ans. A Low Crow.

79. What Do You Get When You Cross A Bird With A Magician?
Ans. A Flying Sorcerer.

80. What Do You Get When You Cross A Canary With A Mole?
Ans. A Miner Bird.

81. What Do You Get When You Cross A High Chair And A Bird?
Ans. A Stool Pigeon.

82. What Do You Get When You Cross A Parrot With A Pig?
Ans. A Bird That Hogs The Whole Conversation!

83. What Do You Get When You Cross A Turkey With An Ostich?
Ans. A Thanksgiving Bird That Buries It's Head In The Mashed-Potatoes.

84. What Do You Get When You Cross An Owl With A Skunk?
Ans. A Bird That Smells But Doesn't Give A Hoot.

85. What Is A Colorfull Name For A Bird Before A Urinal?
Ans. A Peecock.

86. What Is A Colorfull Name For A Bird Inside An Outhouse?
Ans. A Woodpecker.

87. What Is A Ghost's Favorite Species Of Bird?
Ans. The Scare Crow!

88. What Is Better Than A Bird In The Hand?
Ans. A Hand In The Bush.

89. What Is Black, Has Two Legs, And Flies?
Ans. A Bird.

91. What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And A South American Macaw?
Ans. One Is Loud, Obnoxious And Noisy; The Other Is A Bird.

92. What Is The Difference Between Unlawful And Illegal?
Ans. Unlawful Is Against The Law; Illegal Is A Sick Bird.

93. What Is The Georgia State Bird?
Ans. The Mosquito.

94. What Is The National Bird Of Canada?
Ans. The Walrus.

95. What Is The National Bird Of Denmark?
Ans. A Walrus Beneath A Red Light.

96. What Kind Of Bird Can Write?
Ans. A Penguin.

97. What Kind Of Fish Do You Find In A Bird Cage?
Ans. A Perch.

98. When Is The Best Time To Buy A Bird?
Ans. When It Goes Cheep!

99. When The Dove Is The Bird Of Peace, What Is The Bird Of True Love?
Ans. The Swallow.

100. Where Does A Bird Go When It Loses Its Tail?
Ans. The Retail Store.