1. How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Ans. Eleven t h e a l p h a b e t

2. What is round and purple and travels in a long black limousine and carries a machine gun?
Ans. Al Caplum.

3. What starts with T is full of T and ends with T?
Ans. A Teapot.

4. What is read and goes puff puff?
Ans. An outboard apple.

5. What's a valcano?
Ans. A mountain with hiccpus.

6. What is green and pecks on trees?
Ans. Woody Woodpickle.

7. Why is the figure 9 like a peacock?
Ans. Without its tail it is nothing.

8. What is a bull when he is sleeping?
Ans. A bull dozer.

9. What is green and goes slam slam slam slam?
Ans. A four door pickle.

10. What has two feet on each side and one in the middle?
Ans. A Yardstick.

11. What is green and sings?
Ans. Elvis Parsley.

12. When should a baker stop making doughnuts?
Ans. When he gets tired of the hole business.

13. Why did the crow sit on the telephone line?
Ans. He was making a long distance caw.

14. What is the best way to make a coat last?
Ans. Make the pants first.

15. What did the robot say to the gas pump?
Ans. Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me.

16. What is green and very dangerous?
Ans. A frog with a hand grenade.

17. What happens to ducks that fly upside down?
Ans. They quack up.

18. What is white outside and geen inside and hops?
Ans. A frog sandwich.

19. What is gray has four legs, a tail and a trunk?
Ans. A mouse going on a trip.

20. What were Tarzan's last words?
Ans. Who greased the grape vine.

21. Why did Santa Claus use only seven reindeer this year?
Ans. He left Comet home to clean the sink.

22. What kind of monkeys grow on stems?
Ans. Gray apes.

23. What's six feet long, green and has eight eyes?
Ans. The Jolly Green Giant's sneakers.

24. What are baby monster's parents called?
Ans. Dead and Mummy.

25. What's a Grecian urn?
Ans. It depends on what kind of work he does.

26. What can be served but not eaten?
Ans. A Tennis ball.

27. What do you call the good lions in the jungle?
Ans. Dandelions.

28. What did the mother scissors say to the baby scissors?
Ans. Cut it out!

29. What part of the newspaper has the most math in it?
Ans. The Ad Section.

30. Why does a stork stand on one leg?
Ans. If it picked up the other one it would fall.

31. Why is a bridge like money?
Ans. It goes from bank to bank.

32. When does ten plus ten equal ten?
Ans. When you add it wrong.

33. What animal has the smallest appetite?
Ans. A moth, it only eats holes.

34. When is a clock at the head of the stairs dangerous?
Ans. When it runs down and strikes one.

35. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?
Ans. Woa!

36. Why did the rocket lose its job?
Ans. It got fired.

37. How did the firefly feel when he ran into the fan?
Ans. He was delighted.

38. What is the most disagreeable month for a soldier?
Ans. A long March.

39. What will soon be the largest city in the world?
Ans. Dublin Ireland cause it is always doublin'.

40. What does a chicken do when he stands on one leg?
Ans. Lifts the other leg up.

41. What did the eye say to the ice cube?
Ans. Icy You.

42. What did the ram say to his sweetheart?
Ans. I love ewe.

43. Why is the sea measured in knots?
Ans. To keep the ocean tide.

44. Why is the grass dangerous?
Ans. It is full of blades.

45. What is so fabulous about a tiny tv?
Ans. Tiny advertisements.

46. Why do men wear watches when they go to the desert?
Ans. Watches have springs in them.

47. What do you call a rabbit with lots of fleas?
Ans. Bugs Bunny.

48. Why did the little boy put hay in his bed?
Ans. He wanted to feed his nightmare.

49. Why did the boy ghost whistle at the girl ghost?
Ans. Because she was boo-tiful!

50. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Ans. Do you believe in people.

51. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Ans. Spook-getti.

52. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
Ans. Don't spook until spooken to.

53. What do spooks call their navy?
Ans. The Ghost Guard.

54. What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Ans. Ghost Toasties.

55. What does a ghost on guard duty say when he hears a noise?
Ans. Halt who ghost there?

56. What do ghosts chew?
Ans. Boo-ble gum.

57. Why did the moron bring a ladder to a football game?
Ans. He wanted to see the Giants play.

58. Why can't you drive a golf ball?
Ans. It doesn't have a steering wheel.

59. What doay of the year is a commad to go forward?
Ans. March 4th.

60. What is worse than a giratte with a sore throat?
Ans. A centipede with corns.

61. Why can't a bicycle stand by itself?
Ans. It's two-tired.

62. Why are the medieval centuries called the Dark Ages?
Ans. It was Knight time.

63. What is blue, flies, and is dangerous?
Ans. A bluebird with a gun.

64. When are cooks cruel?
Ans. When they beat the eggs and whip the cream.

65. What did one tonsil say to the other?
Ans. Get dressed the doctor is taking us out tonight.

66. What did the Indian say when his dog fell over the cliff?
Ans. Dog-gone.

67. How do you make pants last?
Ans. Make the coat first.

68. What two letters do teeth hate the most?
Ans. DK (decay).

69. What goes around the world but does not move?
Ans. The equator.

70. What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Ans. Glass Flippers.

71. What do ships eat for breakfast?
Ans. Boatmeal.

72. What did they give to the man who nvented the door knocker?
Ans. The Bo Bell Prize.

73. What eats spinach and makes suits?
Ans. Popeye the Tailor Man.

74. What kind of key can't fit in your pocket?
Ans. A Donkey.

75. What subjects do cats like to study in school?
Ans. New-sic.

76. Why did the city boy put wings on a horse?
Ans. He wanted to see a horsefly.

77. Why is the sky so high?
Ans. So birds won't bump their heads.

78. What does a pig in Alaska lin in?
Ans. A pigloo.

79. What do puppies sleep in when they go camping?
Ans. Pup tents.

80. How does a witch tell time?
Ans. With a wirch watch.

81. What do you call a skelton when it's not working?
Ans. Zz Lazy Bones.

82. How do you make varnish disappear?
Ans. Take our the r and make it vanish.

83. Why did the horse have to have cough medicine?
Ans. It had a little colt.

84. What kind of ship never sinks?
Ans. Friendship!

85. What's as big as a rocket but weighs nothing?
Ans. The rocket's shadow.

86. What's the magic word that flattens dough?
Ans. Presto (press dough).

87. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
Ans. A little goes a long way.

88. What is raised in many countries where the rainfall is heavy?
Ans. An umbrella.

89. What has a neck but no head?
Ans. A bottle.

90. What would you call a Tyrannosaurus Rex hen he's nervous?
Ans. A nervous Rex (wreck).

91. Why do baseball games have to be played at night?
Ans. THe bats sleep in the daytime.

92. What is full of holes but holds water?
Ans. A sponge.

93. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
Ans. To get to the other slide.

94. How do you keep a dog from eating chocolate cake?
Ans. Give him a piece of coconut cake.

95. What did the girl volcano say to the boy volcano?
Ans. Do you still lava me like I lava you?

96. Who was purple and conquered the world?
Ans. Alexander the Grape.

97. How can a baseball team win 7 to 0 if not one single person touched home plate?
Ans. All the players were married.

98. What did the bee say to the flower?
Ans. Hi bud. What time do you open?

99. Where do bats get their energy?
ANs. From batteries.

100. What is a carpet?
Ans. A pet you keep in the car.